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The answer is very much a decision based on each individual person's journey through dementia. The compass, if you will, is one simple question: Can my loved one be at home for X number of hours safely? Dementia progresses at a different rate for every person. With that being said, you will want to continually ask that same question. The answer can change without much fan fare! The time is now to educate yourself on placement options. Google is your friend too!
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Reply to LauraCoulter
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Are your parents able to voice their opinions?

My dad was a game player, telling me 1 thing and the care home something else.

They have rights and I would have the ombudsman go talk with them, if they really want to leave this will be the authority that tells the CH that they need to let them go.

If you know your parents want to leave and the facility is stopping them, this could be a false imprisonment situation and that is a very serious issue.

Who has DPOA or guardianship?
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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They can live with you, or very near you or in a home. Regardless they will need 24/7 care at some point - and likely for many years. Medicaid will pay for care at a facility and at their or your home, presuming they qualify for Medicaid. Medicare will not pay for what they call 'supervision'. If you choose to look into Medicaid outside a facility it's called Community Directed Medicaid. It's still a job for you but it's a good option for the person. The local Social Services office will know about options and qualifications.
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Reply to rojo1215
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You need to call your local Ombudsmen and ask them to investigate. When ur in a NH you are a resident not a patient. They have rights.

You also need a plan for their care. Are u willing to quit a job to be a 24/7 caregiver. Is there money to hire aides to help. Is your home safe for a person who no longer can reason and is aware of dangers.

You could also call Adult protective Services and ask them to help you sort the situation out, The facility has to give you a reason why they won't allow u to bring LO home.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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People with mid to advanced dementia need 24/7 supervision even when they can do all their ADLs. Most home care situations are a single care giver and are not able to provide the needed 24/7 supervision. Eventually, dementia patients cannot perform ADLs or even cooperate with a care giver and it takes 2 care givers (or 1 that knows how to operate a lift device really well) to accomplish some basic tasks - like a shower, dressing, or toileting. There are a few cases where the dementia patient also has mobility problems that reduce the supervision requirement enough to be manageable.

For those of us who cannot afford paid in home care givers, our LOs with dementia will need to enter a facility at some point.
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Reply to TNtechie
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Penn, What is your alternative plan for them? You only have to see many posts here to realize how difficult it is caring for one with dementia. It can make you feel crazy at some point. Hope you find whatever it is you think you want.
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Reply to Riverdale
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No they don't have to go anywhere. It might be a good idea, or it might work well with other options. More information would help!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Pennz1 Sep 30, 2018
For 3 years i have been trying to get my parent out of a care home, now they are not allowing me to talk to them without supervision.It is in violation of our human rights.
The care home told me they dont have any rights and there is nothing i can do about this. It is terrible state of affairs and a racket to keep them in a care home toake money out of them. Why else would they want to keep people away from family.
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