Do parents realize the damage a family experiences by naming one child DPOA over the others?

I have been on this website for a short while and have met many wonderful people, but I constantly see the anger at the siblings that were chosen (by the parent) to be the DPOA and POA. It seems to me this is a driving wedge and summons up all old hostilities and adds new ones. Accusations flying, anger, wanting to report them for abuse of caregiving responsibilities because they were not chosen to have this enormous responsibility heaped upon them. I can honestly say they should be grateful they weren't picked because it is becoming painfully clear the non involved siblings have no clue the reality of how difficult it is taking over your parents whole life! The loss of money from giving up careers, personal freedom, always waiting for the next shoe to drop, being in dementia land or other awful diseases, the toll on you physically, mentally, stress, your marriage and kids if you have them. I could go on and on. I feel like a slave. Yet, because Mom picked me and I never imagined what I was getting into, just agreed to her wishes, now I have been accused of all kinds of stuff! I would happily hand it over to them and see how long they could last before they wanted to shove her into a facility because they couldn't deal with it. The one thing that is also clear is most of these accusations all have to do with money. Money, money money! Not their money but money they feel entitled to for being totally absent in the caregiving. God I am sick to death of the money being the center of all of it. Seems the parents happiness and care and their wishes are not nearly as important as the money they are worried they are being cheated out of! What has happened to this world when the money is always the big point of contention because they see the caregiver getting a little something for the huge sacrifice that has been requested of them? Do they realize how much money we are actually saving the parent instead of shoving them all in facilities? For instance, if Mom died tomorrow, siblings would actually get something than if I had put her in a facility, she would be nearly broke by now. Now I am sure there are some irresponsible kids out there, that take advantage but for Pete's sake, if the other kids actually got involved in helping out, maybe they would get a little better of an idea of the parents daily expenses (where the money is going) & more appreciation for the "chosen one." It isn't so glorious to be the sole caregiver with DPOA and or POA, and maybe a little less reason to be upset they weren't picked to do "the honors" of being the sole child picked to handle everything. I am watching my life pass me by while my siblings get to travel, take vacations, live a normal life and I am struggling with the bare minimum (to save her money) for doing everything for Mom and I have been made the villain. Sad to say but if someone came up to me telling me their parent wanted them to be DPOA and or POA, I would advise against it unless they were an only child! Sorry, just had to get this off my chest.