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My 87 year old mother has Vas Dem and keeps wondering if my deceased father will recognize her in heaven? This is nightly. She has had premonitions in the past, but she seems to want to go see my father in heaven, he just passed 9 months ago.

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My mother with moderate dementia and I had that conversation 2 to 3 weeks before her death.
My aunt with parkinsons dementia and in a SNF asked her daughter to bring a pizza for dinner. She passed as her daughter was bringing it in.
I had a patient who I was giving a breathing treatment to. She was content saying she was going home even though I knew she was not. She had a cardiac arrest on the monitor within 10 minutes while I was charting her treatment.
I suggest you seek a book called Final Gifts by Callinan and Kelly
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Reply to MACinCT
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Of course your mother wants to go see her husband in heaven, as I'm sure she misses him terribly.
That has nothing to do with dementia, but the fact that she lost the man she loved for I'm sure many years.
It's not uncommon when a spouse dies after many years of marriage that the other spouse dies shortly thereafter of a broken heart. You hear tell of that all the time.
Now the fact that your mother has vascular dementia which is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years, means that she will be dying sooner than later anyway, so don't be afraid to talk to her about dying and heaven and who will be there and whatever else she wants to talk about, as that I'm sure will bring her comfort and peace.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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This may occur in ANY dementia, not only in Vascular dementia. It is the working of a mind that is no longer working well. I am sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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For the first year after my father died , my mother used to say my father was sitting at the foot of the bed at night . Mom was sundowning .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Captain
Your mom is grieving and no doubt misses your dad. I would assure her she will see him again and perhaps move the conversation to stories of dad you both enjoy.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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