I am at my wits end.
My husband is 64 and I am 60. Though we have similar health problems brought on be simialr lifestyles earlier in life his are much more severe than mine. he ended up with cirrohsis and I did not.
He has been my "Batman" for 25 years. Saw me through 2 full hip replacements and the time prior when I was crippled up unable to walk. He walked me off methadone maintenance back in the 90's. I was not a fun person to be around for those 18 months and even a good 6 months after. I am so grateful he did and appreciate that he was the only one after 4 other marriages that was willing to deal with it because he saw that the end reult was worth it.
He is the only one in 5 marriages to appreciate me and love me as I am completely. Always put me first.
I tried to be as selfless in our marriage but I know fell short many times. I am admittedly more selfish and just not nearly as good a person as he is. when he became ill I stepped up and have been ever since. It became gradually harder and harder as things progressed.
There is no cure, Cirrohsis is terminal ALWAYS. Unless you can qualify for a liver transplant. Taking care of yourself and clean up your diet and any other indulgences - will prolonge your life it will not save you.
2008- started to have more incidences of kidney stones - finally one that was imbedded in the wall of the kidney almost killed him
2009 post op giant kidney stone he still feels really bad. Doc calls and says go to the hospital NOW your blood sugar is 600. - He drove himself to the local ER.
2010-2015 Manages diabetes perfectly watches his overall weight diet etc. Received SSDI in 2009-2014 so he worked parttime - gave guitar lessons built electric scooter mods- saw me through health issues. I semi retire working about 40 hours a month. We both loved it We both get better physically and mentally
2015 July I return to work fulltime. we find better place and have the best XMAS we ever had anywhere.
2016 January- He comes down with pnuemonia- followed by swollen testicle and abdominal distention. ER says due to liver failure it is ascites. He has a communicating hydrocele inguenal hernia and abdominal umbilical hernia.
March 2016 liver doc takes wait and see approach
We move, property was sold.
May 2016 liver doc initiates HEPC treatment with new drug Epclusa and ribovirin
August 2016 Tells me needs to go to ER. I get ready when I go to wake him he is unresponsive. 11 variceal bleeds in his throat almost dies from blood loss enroute. 11 weeks ICU HAS emergency TIPS ( Trans hepatic porto-systemic shunt - to relieve pressure on the portal vein of the liver ) they cannot stop the bleeds. He comes home a week later.
Sept.2016 to 2017 - Shunt crushed by his body 6 interventions the first year and 1/2. I see him diminish. We move due to black mold in the apt.
2017 Dec his reg PCP retires new pcp rearranges all medication changing every drug and dosage etc . Cannot sleep abdomnal pain spasms from his body rejecting the liver stent.
2018 to 2019 He is less active, engaged with the world.
2020 Feb he develops blood clot in leg cannot walk no transportation help. Cigna drops him from care refuses treatment refills etc -
2020 March Falls breaks hip does not tell me. Cannot walk.Caregiver -say too ill for homecare.
April 2020 I come home is asleep- late afternoon next day I try to wake him then call EMTs. Coma from ammonia in brain. wakes up comes home returns 1 week later on ventilator this time.
Present : completely dependent, brain damage permanent. Has dementia, yells constantly, is combative physically. Rarely knows who I am. brought him home on hospice. work hours i have caregivers but not one second more. Mentally cannot handle it. I love him so much he is himself sometimes, rarely. He is confused angry yells all night long. Hospice meds fail to control it. I do not want to abandon him. Last place was overmedicating him, starving him. I don't know what to do. So Sad.