Out of respect for your husband he does have the right to about his dementia but it is up to you. But in my opinion I would not because he will not remember what you said to him the next day.
Killerben12345, How soon the information is forgotten is a very individual thing and depends upon the stage that has been reached. As I've written previously I am for the most part cognitive with times when I remember very little. Retrospectively and as a carer for someone with a dementia I know that I will request the same info over and over. I would hate to think that people would cease to tell me things because I would forget what I'd been told. It's very scary when you can't remember something and you have to rely on others to `fill in the blanks.' To then be denied that info, because I wouldn't retain it is even scarier. Also altering the phrasing of a reply can at times allow the brain to recapture some part of the lost memory. As in the post about the Father whose son sent him a letter `from his previous employer' rather than continually reminding him that he had retired. Phrases in that letter touched the elderly man and settled him. I'm making sure at this stage to make the special people in my life aware of how I'd like to be treated as I deteriorate. I'm lucky I know to have that option but I would urge everyone to think about what they would like and write it down in case the worst does happen.
I feel the right thing to do is to get his doctor to tell him. Make sure u r in the room.He may not believe u and get upset with you but if his doctor tells him after making a correct diagnosis which is documented that is better in my opinion. You would be wise at this stage to contact the Alzheimer Association. They have toll free number and have branches everywhere. They offer wonderful support groups for him and you. I have learned so much from them. Good luck!
We never told my mother that she had dementia. Even her geriatrician did not use that word with her. Her chief coping mechanism all her life was denial. (Don't knock it. It worked for her.) Why would we expect her to accept this diagnosis? She knew she had memory problems, and we left it at that.
My husband knew from the very beginning that he had Lewy Body Dementia. He was a mechanical engineer and cause-and-effect was critical in his world. For him, not knowing what was happening to him would have been far more stressful than hearing the truth. I am so very glad he could accept that, because it made our discussions about his care much easier on me. We personified his disease as "Lewy" and I could hug him and say, "I think Lewy gave us a particularly hard time today. Let's hope after a good night's sleep he'll be less active tomorrow." Because he knew what he had he decided to donate his brain for research. That was very important to him, and he always asked if I had "his papers" with us when we traveled. (Odd, he might not remember where we were going, but he remembered that if he died there he wanted his brain donated!) The only time he forgot this diagnosis in the ten years he lived with it was in the middle of a difficult episode.
He had the same geriatrician my mother did. (I want her, too, in a few years!) She talked openly about his dementia with him.
It was good that I could assure him that yes, he was losing some cognitive abilities, but that I would never abandon him and would be there to compensate for his losses. He would go into an examining room and say to the technician, "I have Lewy Body. Jeanne is my memory, so that's why she needs to be here, too."
One size answer does not fit all! The answer must custom-fit the individual who has dementia.
I'm making sure at this stage to make the special people in my life aware of how I'd like to be treated as I deteriorate. I'm lucky I know to have that option but I would urge everyone to think about what they would like and write it down in case the worst does happen.
We never told my mother that she had dementia. Even her geriatrician did not use that word with her. Her chief coping mechanism all her life was denial. (Don't knock it. It worked for her.) Why would we expect her to accept this diagnosis? She knew she had memory problems, and we left it at that.
My husband knew from the very beginning that he had Lewy Body Dementia. He was a mechanical engineer and cause-and-effect was critical in his world. For him, not knowing what was happening to him would have been far more stressful than hearing the truth. I am so very glad he could accept that, because it made our discussions about his care much easier on me. We personified his disease as "Lewy" and I could hug him and say, "I think Lewy gave us a particularly hard time today. Let's hope after a good night's sleep he'll be less active tomorrow." Because he knew what he had he decided to donate his brain for research. That was very important to him, and he always asked if I had "his papers" with us when we traveled. (Odd, he might not remember where we were going, but he remembered that if he died there he wanted his brain donated!) The only time he forgot this diagnosis in the ten years he lived with it was in the middle of a difficult episode.
He had the same geriatrician my mother did. (I want her, too, in a few years!) She talked openly about his dementia with him.
It was good that I could assure him that yes, he was losing some cognitive abilities, but that I would never abandon him and would be there to compensate for his losses. He would go into an examining room and say to the technician, "I have Lewy Body. Jeanne is my memory, so that's why she needs to be here, too."
One size answer does not fit all! The answer must custom-fit the individual who has dementia.
(BTW, I would want to know.)