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I need to place my father in a facility and am being told that I need to get a court ordered guardianship. His home has some structural issues and he has no money for the repairs and he needs more care than we can provide for him at home. The AFC home we spoke with said we need guardianship because he says he wants to stay in his house....am at the end of my rope trying to deal with this.

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If he is mentally competent, then likely you can't do much. The POA might work if he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease or another dementia or mental illness, but otherwise he can legally make his own decisions, even if they are bad. A court won't likely find him incompetent if he doesn't have dementia, but you could try if you want.

Otherwise, hard as it may be on you, he really can choose his own living arrangement.

Maybe you'll have to let him live in conditions that aren't so great until he says he wants help. Often, when the adult children back off, the parent will feel more empowered and ask to help. They like to feel it's their idea. This doesn't happen all of the time, of course, but it may be your only choice.

Good luck,
Carol
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Some people frown on portraying the relocation as temporary, but that is what worked for us.

Initially my cousin balked at the idea of assisted living when her doctor strongly suggested it, but just a few days later, she agreed when I explained it was a rehab facility where she could get her health back. I explained that they would provide her with physical therapy for her muscles and bones, medication, nutrition and that when she regained her strength and health, she could return home. They do provide her with all that, plus social interaction and assistance with bathing and dressing.

In just 3 months, she loves the place. She is always saying they are good to her there, take care of her and she considers it home. Whenever I take her to a doctor appointment, she makes me promise she's returning to the ALF. She tells me she considers that home now. I don't regret how we got her there. I have heard that some dementia patients do still ask to return home though.
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AFC is right. You petition for Guardianship to the Surrogate's court. We paid the lawyer $2700 plus $2000 for evaluation. The court sent a "court evaluator" to see mom, to review her medical records, and to interview her 3 children. He agreed with the petition and the Guardianship was granted in a single court hearing. Ask the AFC to support the petition in writing, that will expedite the matter. The Judge will also issue a court order remanding him to a facility for his own protection. Dad has the right to his day in court.
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If you want to try to avoid the nuclear option, perhaps you can try one more time to convince him he has little choice. Once you obtain guardianship, even though that gives you the POWER, your battle with him and angst over moving him by force is far from over. If he's too far into dementia, though, you're probably wasting good air. Still, it might be worth trying. Nothing to lose.

"Dad, we can't do this anymore. You need more care than we can provide. When you were our age, what were you doing? Were you spending all of your time caring for gram and gramps? Did you abandon them? That's the position you're putting us in...we can't do this a.n.y.m.o.r.e. You are breaking our hearts! You've always been the strong one in the family. And now it's time for you to be strong.

"Let us make sure you're safe and well cared for. Let us go back to being your children again, come visit you, take you out once in a while. Let us sleep well at night for the first time in MONTHS knowing that you're safe and where you need to be.

"We've found a very nice place. We want to take you to see it. Please say you'll go. You raised strong children, dad. You raised us to do the hard thing even when it hurts like heck. This is the right thing. We're not going to rest until we know you're safe.

"Come with us Friday. Take a look. Meet the really nice people we met. Help us do the right thing, dad. 'Cause it's either with you? Or without you. We love you so much . . . help us do the right thing here."

If he refuses, then you've done all you can do. Go forward with the guardianship with your head held high knowing you're doing the right thing and being the strong daughter he's always wanted you to be.

Then guardianship it is.

*Hugs*
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Everything you currently have is temporary, based on your dad being of sound mind but temporarily unable to make decisions.
Guardianship would say that he's not of sound mind & you get to make the decisions.
If you want to force him into a facility, you need guardianship. But be sure the facility will take him when he's likely to be mad, unwilling, upset, possibly try to escape.
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