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Dad is 78 alcoholic living with 51 tr alcoholic for 22 years. She drives local elderly bus. Dad had liver transplant (cirrhosis ) 8 yrs ago. Abuse suspected then. Too naive to get proper documentation and hoped could get him to see the light after teanspkant. No avail. Flash fwd. roomate/friend over past two years had another gfriend ingrstiate herself to dad...I saw red flags pulled credit told sisters not give up dad needs us, etc. Both accused of I'd theft/fraud. Roomate Mail fraud too ( kept mail from dad). Found loan due to credit ck. Also they had friend do his taxes for past two years (he also had urs fraud the 3rd yr prior). The cpa kept putting me off so I finally got stuff back and gave 3 yrs to new reputable accountant. He's getting back )22k. police filed APS questioning depiction making, financial anise snd neglect/ self neglect. ( alcoholic in decline does not eat. Poor physical condition. APS result is probable cause for financial exploitation and significant abuse. Dad told the aps investigator he is called "every name in the book" by roomate. He's afraid of living alone. She is controlling. Classic casebook stuff on playing with his ind and playing bictim and berating drunk nastiness when he gets any gelp grom daughters. Dads friend/gfriend/roomate hate er u wild like to call her that she has been his gfriend for 22 yrs. it is platonic he has told us. I was at hearing but coukd not state that in front of him. They reovng forward w roomate's gfriend on charges for both but not with gfriend because of long term relationship. So she is on notice and somewhat at bay but omg it is so hard to bite my tongue with his "choice" of how he wants to live out his life. My second probl is my sis who I sm co-poa. Both have same authority but dad has verbally had her doing bill pay and me healthcare ( I've been doing healthcare 10 yrs). Sis against 3 sisters wishes pressured him into sale of house 50% off out of fear nothing will be left. She is now vindictive and nasty and going for every last sentimental nice thing and does not care that she has lost us. Atty says I need to remain diligent about financial involvement. Dad says that's all she gets but he is so swayed and powerless by those two who have now joined sides he will not stand up to them and tells me he can't. He is competent but weak. I can't go for guardian/conservator because I fear they will convince him to get me out. I feel so stuck and it is so upsetting. I know he knows but he just wants to drink and be in peace and they are just awful and I need to keep backing down. Is it all really just a timing thing? What a system.

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Continue your diligence on healthcare and finances. Move dad to assisted living and that will eliminate the roommate. Ask APS if they would pursue protective custody of your father. He really needs it.
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Apologies for the typos. Also, do I just sit there quietly at these dr appointments unless I'm addressed. They all know what's going on. It all feels so pointless and sad and is taking a toll on me and my family.
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