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I paid for my mom's funeral 3 days after her death with the check that came in december she passed away 11/27 and then was told I need to return the money--will they make me pay it back n if so will they make me pay it all at once

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It is shocking how quickly they withdraw that money too. When my Grandmother died it came out in days. How did they even know?!
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Kathy, glad you brought that up; not sure I'd realized that when we got it when mom died and dad was still living, so I asked about it then when dad passed away and the funeral home told me that, that it only applied for a surviving spouse - so I knew that when I flubbed up and forgot, not that I was specifically thinking about that, but still...
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Just so 'snoop' knows, there is no death benefit unless there is a surviving spouse.
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Also be on the lookout for a $250 death benefit to appear from Soc Sec, so that will offset a part of what you will owe them. Keep the account open till that appears.
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It has to be paid back. They get to make the rule, and they enforce it. I hope there are assets somewhere to help, this is the 'executor's' territory to address.
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P.S. I would go to them with your issue. Don't make them come after you.
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From my experience, the SSA will contact you if you owe them money. It happened to me too. And I was allowed to make payments.
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that actually happened to me when I forgot about withdrawing money from dad's account to cover some funeral expenses that he hadn't paid for - some things that were more personal that the funeral home wouldn't have known how much they would be - though I supposed that even they could have been accounted for
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They will pull the money back from the account even if it leaves the account overdrawn. Then the bank will come after you.
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Sorry for your loss -- from the social security website ---- If a beneficiary dies let us know if a person receiving Social Security benefits dies. We can’t pay benefits for the month of death. That means if the person died in July, the check received in August (which is payment for July) must be returned. If the payment is by direct deposit, notify the financial institution as soon as possible so it can return any payments received after death.

To my knowledge, they remove the payment from the account it was deposited in. If it is gone, they will come to you.
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