I am the live-in caretaker for my VERY healthy 105 yr old mother with some Dementia. A friend from Florida was named executor of her mother's Will but it's 8 months later and she's still stuck in Probate. So she advised me to get a Trust so that when the time comes I'M not stuck in probate. HOWEVER I do not think I need to get a Trust. (My state is NJ btw.) I am executor of the Will. Everything is left to me and years ago she put my name on all her accounts. I can write checks, etc. She just has a money market and checking. Isn't the fact that I'm on her accounts (and I'm executor) enough to avoid probate? Also, regarding Medicaid: she has $218,000 left in her money market account. I was told she could live a couple more years! But if she loses touch with reality completely and I'm stressed to the max taking care of her, and need to put her in a skilled nursing facility or something like that, how much do I have to have left in the money market before I can get help from Medicaid (if it still exists in a couple years)? Thank you in advance for your responses!! I love this forum.
Every estate is different. Just because one person's estate is stuck in probate doesn't mean you will have the same experience. Big estates will always take longer. And the first time someone disputes the will, you can kiss a quick probate goodbye.
My mother had a revocable trust for her house that she finally put in place a year before she died. My sisters and I did not want the liability of maintaining an empty house for three years until it could be sold. We wanted it sold as soon as possible after her death.
Your mother's money should be enough to take care of her for a couple of years. She is 105.
Double check that all of her accounts are indeed legally titled or have named beneficiary to bypass probate.
Executor doesn't have any thing to do with this. That just means you are who your mom chose to finish her business, the law still needs to be applied, which goes right back to the will.
If the attorney is trying to protect her assets for public assistance, well, it's a little late in her life and a whole lot unethical, imo. Maybe a certified elder law attorney would be a better resource for you going forward.
I will look at the Will today. I believe an explanation for the disinherit is in the Will. I'll check. (It mainly had to do with his abuse of the family. I didn't want to get into all the details of it here.)
When I applied for Medicaid for my Mom, I was told the Will was pretty much null and void. In NJ the amount of assets allowed is $2000. The monthy income level allowed is $2900, social security and pension. A house and car are, for now, exempt assets. If Mom should need Medicaid in the future, there will be Medicaid recovery. A lien will be placed on the home at her passing. And that lien needs to be satisfied by selling the home. Inheriting it does not keep it from recovery. If you have lived with Mom and been a Caregiver for 2 years, at least, you maybe able to get a Caregiver Allowance which allows you to stay in the home. The lien will be placed if you leave the house the lien will need to be satisfied. Especially upon your death.
Medicaid can be complicated and there are things you cannot to within the 5 years before its needed. There is no protecting assets at this point. No gift giving. No support of your brother. No support of you. This will cause penalties. You can talk to an Elder lawyer and use Moms money because its for her. He can give you a heads up how everything works.
It really depends on how the Bank accts read if your entitled to them when Mom passes. Paid on Death (POD) makes you beneficary but that cannot be gotten now because of Moms Dementia. When a beneficiary, that does not go thru probate. My girls are second on our insurances and investments as beneficiaries. I am working on them having POD on our bank accts. They will not have to probate that money.
Dementia is a terminal desease. The brain dies little by little. When it reaches the part of the brain that controls breathing and heart, your Mom will pass. My Moms journey was 6 yrs. There were signs prior but a bad hit on the head in 2011 excelerated her Dementia. She was gone by late 2017.
I'm impressed that you are thinking of all this now in regard to your girls. They will one day appreciate it. I've seen my friends' parents not do that.
1. I have been a caregiver for 5 years. Who pays for the allowance? The person you are caring for or the state?
-I hope that Dementia death where the breathing and heart stop functioning isn't painful. Sorry about your mom and the hit on her head.
-Her bank told me that when she passes, just come in and hand them the Death certificate but that may be incorrect. I'll check.
-Unfortunately for me I would not have the heart to put her in MC right now. She's too aware of what's going on.
If there is no money to speak of you will not even have to file probate in all likelihood. There really will BE no estate. If there IS an estate you can easily hire a probate attorney to settle it. It is easy for them. Meanwhile buy a book on "Probate for Dummies". The "dummies" books cover almost everything.
It isn't as bad as you imagine if there aren't a lot of funds, a lot of meddlesome and troublesome relatives, and etc.
Thank you for letting me know about the Trust. I don't think I need one anyway. But if she goes like Geaton777's aunt there will be money left.
I AM going to have trouble with my schizophrenic alcoholic horribly tempered brother who is not technically in the Will because a) the lawyer didn't want him to lose his SSI but mostly, b) he is really bad with money and she is afraid he'll spend it all and then he'll have another run-in with the law or some other emergency (last year he accidentally burned his house down. I took care of him. He forgets that.) and won't have any money. So she wants me to have most of it since I've been her caretaker for 5 years and he's been a thorn in the side of the family since he was 18 and was getting in trouble.
Or maybe get advice on this crowd-sourced forum: bogleheads.org
FYI I had a very healthy Aunt who was on her way to 106... until she wasn't. She started having symptoms of congestive heart failure and then shortly after had a stroke, was paralyzed, went into hospice and passed -- all within a short span of time. Prior to that she had no health conditions other than glaucoma. All this to say don't delay in figuring out what you want to do.
Are you the PoA for your Mom? I hope so.
So sorry about your aunt. I'm glad you told me that story. Had she had any heart issues previously?