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My mother thinks a neighbor is terrorizing her. I've taken her for neuropsych testing and they just are inconclusive on what is happening to her but are considering dementia with Lewy bodies. My mom thinks the neighbor is climbing on our roof, involving his wife and parent in damaging our property, thinks he has listening devices planted around the house and spends hours a day in our yard, turning on outdoor faucets, damaging bushes, drilling on my house. She has called the police over 15 times in the last year and a half, they haven't found anything and have threatened to put her on pysch hold.


I don't believe anything is happening with the neighbor because I haven't seen or heard anything. My mother feels betrayed that no one believes her and is truly frightened. How do I handle this? I currently refuse to discuss him at all because I have spent hours and days talking about it with her and there is no answer.

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I’m so sorry this is happening. Hope you find answers. Hugs!
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I wonder if you could enlist your neighbour in dealing with this. Perhaps he could say to her something like ‘Yes I come over sometimes, just to see if you are all right. If I think there’s anything wrong I will flash a torch up to your bedroom window’. If he is a nice man, it could help your mother, and also help if things caused by your mother (eg police visits) seem odd to him. He might even have some ideas of his own about how to handle it. Many people are far more helpful than you expect, if you ask for their help. There are many posts here about how to deflect by saying things like ‘it’s been reported to the police, but it will take a while to get the evidence’. Perhaps something like this could work as well. Best wishes in a difficult situation.
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You've written in the past that your mom has psychiatric issues. Are those being treated? Is the neurologist aware of those psych issues? Paranoia and delusions can be part of dementia but they can also have other causes (schizophrenia, for example) and there are meds that can lessen the symptoms.
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Your Mom believes what she says. Nothing you do or say can change her mind. Maybe u can tell her you will speak to the neighbor and ask him to please stop. Play along.
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