Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I just watched an interview with James Brolin. I have always liked him. He looks great! Very natural, no fake dyed hair! He’s coming up on 23 years married to Barbra Streisand. People told him that being married to her wouldn’t ever work out. The first person that told him that his marriage wouldn’t work was his ex wife! Ha!

Anyway, he said that he likes a woman who speaks her piece and that she gets him up and going doing things that he would never have done on his own. He also said that people have spoken about how things got shaky with their spouses during the lockdown period in Covid but his experience was falling in love with his wife all over again.

I must say that I had the very same experience with my husband during Covid. We have been married for 43 years! My role as primary caregiver to my mom for 15 years had just ended. After all the stress of caregiving ended, being alone with my husband felt like a wonderful dream! At first, I was very upset about Covid hitting just when we had time for ourselves again. Then, I was able to look at the larger picture and put everything in perspective.

Our youngest daughter moved across county after graduation, our oldest daughter who lives here has suffered with several medical issues. My husband was diagnosed with cancer, just tons of issues hit us all at once. Yet, it all brought us closer to each other.

James Brolin said that he and Barbra can talk things out with each other and I can do the same with my husband. It isn’t about having a ‘perfect’ relationship. No one has that! It’s about being with a suitable partner and being the right match for them. For me, a good match means being with someone that has similar values in life.

Hey, James and Barbra being married for 23 years in Hollywood is like being married a million years! Good for them!

I absolutely believe in staying in a relationship for all the right reasons. I do not believe in staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons. Some people look at a separation or divorce as a failure. I actually applaud people who know when to throw in the towel.

If a person’s goal is to be in a healthy relationship with a future, they must close the door on an unhealthy relationship, allowing an opening for a new relationship to form. I truly hope the OP will read all of the sensible advice stated on this thread and come to her senses and walks out on her partner, then finds much peace and joy that she deserves in life, whether she has a partner or not.

I met my now husband after ending a previous relationship. I was enjoying being ‘unattached’ again, not really looking for anyone new in my life. Then I met my sweetheart and the rest is history!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Beatty Jun 2021
What lovely uplifting shares & memories 😊. Thanks!
(0)
Report
Hoping JoeorGo can find her way back to the thread. I pm'd & she wanted to reply & thank folk for replies but wasn't sure how to.

I think talking to Joe's Dad could be key. What does he know about group homes? (Or is he against/doesn't trust/doesn't want that option). Not choosing that option does not automatically mean his other son must take on full responsibility for Joe, including housing.

That thinking is very old, where a relative 'inherited' a special needs relative who could not live independently. Probably still happens a lot, but certainly this was the only way 100 years ago. Or an awful asylum.

Even if this family worked that way, the OP's boyfriend just can't - so the responsibility would have to move on to the next relative's shoulders.

If Joe's brother is realistic of his own abilities, his strengths & limitations before making such a big decision - that would be best.

He may WANT to, but CAN he?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Beatty Jun 2021
Carol, I have tried to explain, (click icon pic & activity..) not sure if a better way to re-find a thread?
(0)
Report
JoeOrGo replied to me, and to my private message about my own experience. I think that some posters sort out their issues when they write the post, the first few replies confirm what they think, and that is what they need to get going.

My message about my own experiences ended: ‘The moral is: don’t under-estimate the power of a weak needy person, their strength in controlling you, and the way they can mess up a lot of lives. Fight for yourself. Use your competence to care for your own future’.

Like you, I hope it helped, and I think perhaps it did.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Since its been mentioned that OP does not know how to respond to a post, I feel its OK to share a PM she sent to me and didn't make private.

"Your answer to my question about Joe really stuck with me and I have done a lot of thinking these last few days. I have to defend myself and stand up for what I believe is best for me and my future. Thank you for being so polite in your answer while still giving me the hard truth. All the best"

I replied back that always go with your gut. If you start questioning something, there is a reason. I told her a couple of times I should have gone with my gut. The third one was knowing that marrying my DH was a good gut feeling. Next month, 40 years.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I would run. It would not be an easy decision, but it needs to be done. You will likely regret it if you stay and be resentful of the many issues you talked about in your post.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter