Took my 82 year old husband took Dentist yesterday. He is wheelchair bound and with great difficulty and help, we were able to get him in the chair. After many x rays, the Dr. told him (us) he would have to have most of his teeth extracted because they were soon to fall out. One of them was possibly infected. He could only suggest Dentures which would require many visits and some pain. He would also have to consult his doctor because of the Coumadin he's taking ...... so he would have to be off it a couple of days. It appeared to be a long procedure. Now, my husband has a mild dementia but he understood everything. He wants to wait and make a decision later. I know, he will NEVER decide to go this route. What do I do as a caring and loving wife? Do I insist he go (because this could be dangerous for him because of that mild infection which could worsen) or do I let him make up his own mind?? He also has a tear in his Retina (eye) and has refused to see his retina specialist every 4 months. So far, everything remains the same with the eye. But it could worsen. He is tired of so many doctors and he sees how difficult it is for me to take him to all these appts. Should I insist he sees these doctors or should I just leave him to make his own decisions? He is a happy guy when he's just left alone. I hate to "upset the wagon" What to do???
As to the teeth. Many people do well with just gumming food, and unfortunately some parts of our country are almost without affordable dental care; that said the INFECTED tooth must be addressed, because the infection could go systemic.
I think you are playing the odds at some point. I wonder about going all out with many visits, much pain, with dentures at this point, so might let him make that decision, as well as the decision about his eye. However, the infected tooth? That's gotta go. IMHO.
You are really going the extra yards to try to figure out what is best for HIM, and so good of you to do so. Good luck. Give us an update when you have time.
That is a huge red flag for me and I would recommend seeing a different dentist.
My dad had to have all of his uppers removed and my dentist said because he is on coumadin and elderly the safest route would be an oral surgeon, the procedure took like 45 minutes from waiting room to walking out the door.
If your husband understands, I think he should be allowed to decide what will be done to his body.
I would address that infection though. Maybe he can gargle with colloidal silver and heal it up without antibiotics. I would try that 1st, I would not trust the dentist if he didn't address that infection, period. That is criminal in my opinion, oral infections are extremely dangerous.
A geriatric primary would be good to switch him over to if possible. They might know of a dentist you could get him into that would take care of that one tooth and advise him on the others.
If it weren’t for the possible infection, I would be tempted to leave him be but he has a lot to be managed to stay status quo.
Try to budget for an aide on the days you have to take him out. If something happens to you, what will happen to him?
Call the Area Agency on Aging and see what you can find out. Let us know how things are going. You are amazing to handle all of this. He is very lucky to have you for his bride.
If some of your husband’s Dr. appointments are absolutely not necessary, maybe you could cut back on some them? My mother in law is 81 and it really seems some of her Dr.’s keep her coming so often just for the money!
Sorry for the length of my post. IMO that amount of appts seems excessive. My Mom has glaucoma and we visit every 6 months. The last appointment she could not participate in one of the tests. The Dr was stumped on what to do. I said we just forgo it, she can't do it. Dr said I guess that will be fine. We'll just monitor another way. And why a different eye Dr for both of your husbands conditions? Two wallets to fill? I'm sorry but I am cynical. I would find one who can monitor/address both. You can only do what you can do and what makes sense. Could a visiting nurse come to the house to check Coumadin and sugar levels? I know of someone that monitors Coumadin levels at home with a meter and calls in results to Dr who then instructs to increase, decrease, skip a day, etc on the meds. My Mom was scheduled for a colonoscopy. I did some research on risk vs benefits and had a discussion with her Dr. He said that with her history and current mental status, he agreed to forgo that test. I had another Dr that wanted Mom's blood work checked every 3 months. We did this for a couple of years. A new Dr said that this was absurd. No issues, why every 3 months? I had a recent experience with my Mom. She was light headed and falling. Dr said this is what happens as dementia progresses. I did some reading on blood pressure meds and found out if you are on a cocktail of 3 meds, take one in the AM and 2 in the PM to alleviate the dizziness. I implemented, it worked, and Mom is fine. Dr never suggested this and once I told her what I had done she said, great, glad that worked. We know our loved ones, we can see their symptoms and changes. The quality of life must factor in with our caregiving. My Mom is also diabetic. The Dr would say NO sugars for her. She is diabetic. I say, SOME sugars for her is just fine. I do this while keeping her sugar levels in check BTW. She is only on metformin, no insulin. Speaking of metformin, my Mom wasn't taking her med years ago because she couldn't comfortably swallow it. It's a large pill. I spoke to Dr about it and he said cut in half. My Mom still had an issue and Dr has no suggestion. I spoke to the pharmacist about this and they told me about a liquid form of metformin which Mom now uses. Dr's don't know everything is my point and continue to advocate. I wish you and your husband the best and he is lucky that you are looking to improve his quality of life not simply extending it. Lastly, your quality of life matters too! Sorry for the length of this post but thought my experiences might help you or other readers :-)
as far the infection goes he may be thinking let that be. My Step Mother at 89 fell and broke her hip. She declined surgery. After surgery there was going to be 16 months of rehab and learning to walk again. She said no thanks. about 10 days later the infection took her. She was happy to go. She had lived a long happy life. She hated being a growing burden to her children.
Modern medicine keeps us alive FAR longer than we would with out it. At some point modern medicine just becomes worse than the letting nature take its course.
Needless to say, we never went back (more to the story but now is not the time). It would have cost $1500+ for the teeth to be pulled and it cost $500 to have 2 rebuilt. Do the math. And get another opinion on his mouth/teeth. You cannot even imagine the pain of pulling all the teeth.
And yes, too many doctors does get tiresome.
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