My husband has dementia. Over the past few months he has deteriorated rapidly and I can longer cope and believe he should be placed into residential care. My problem is his son has POA and refuses to even consider this. His son does not live with him and doesn’t understand the daily struggles that I face, nor does he care or spend time with him. For him it is all about preserving his inheritance. Do I have any rights as his wife to challenge his decision? The stress is having a dramatic effect on my life now and I can no longer cope. I’m at my wits end.
Get him to his doctor.
And it is great that you can admit to his care has become too much for you. Visit with the elder law attorney that prepared your husband's documents and ask him to talk with the son to explain the POA responsibilities.
Start out by calling your local Area Agency on Aging and getting a needs assessment. Find out what level of care they are recommending.
Talk to his doctor as well about your husband's needs and your limited ability to provide that care.
You also need to get hold of a well qualified Eldercare attorney. You need to have it presented to POA son that he is not acting in his father's best interests by denying him outside professional help
( either in home or NH level).