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Up until 2 months ago my husband and I have been doing our best to care for my parents. My Dad has Parkinson’s and Dementia, they are both 86 yrs old....in November my sister (who is bipolar) took them two hours away to her house, supposedly just temporary at the time, now she has convinced my mother to purchase a half million dollar home to protect their assets...(my husband and I had told my mother not to worry about it now, just please use the money to help with in home care and that we will stay close by to help. My sister is not stable, she went off on an anger binge to our daughter a few days back, saying horrible and vicious things about my husband and I (I believe she is going into a mania, after spending the entire summer depressed) We are very concerned for my parents, it is obvious she is trying to control every decision, and discounts any thing we say or suggest.
My mother is a very meek and naive person her entire life, she refuses to believe that my sister is mentally not stable (even though she has been treated for 30 yrs for BPD) ...my mother says, your sister is lonely so that is why they are staying there, we have many concerns, do we have any rights at all? Thank you

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Well, when our daughter asked her that question, ( are you planning on living with Nanny? She said my sister just laughed) my sister also owns her own house ( worth close to a million) approx 20 mi away from the house she has convinced my Mom to buy ( in a very large city) She doesn’t expect this house to be left to her, my parents will was drawn up only 5 months ago, leaving everything split 50-50........but you are right, she does see herself as “ the savior” —- but truth be told she has been very needy her entire life, and depends on my parents almost solely for her emotional connections( since because of her bipolar she has lost her husband, most “ friends” etc. —- I do feel compassion for her because of her illness, but I am struggling with the safety of my Mom and Dad- thanks for listening
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Is your sister planning on living in the new house with your parents? Being mentally unstable, perhaps she sees a fantasy in her head of her being ‘savior’ and ‘caregiver’ to your parents and then they’ll leave that nice house to her?

That could be the reasoning behind this latest fiasco. BUT your question is do you and your husband have any rights? I do think you do if you are the POA. You say it’s a shared POA, so your sister has rights as well. Call the lawyer who helped you draw up the POA document and tell him your story. Emphasize the reasons you disagree with sister’s ideas. I am just learning about this maze of legalities surrounding care of the elderly myself but from what I’ve learned you DO have rights.
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I completely agree and so does my husband.....as far as I know she is bipolar, don’t know about Borderline....we have even offered to buy for appraised value their original house to keep them from losing it.....but, we totally disagree with the decision to purchase this other huge expensive house just to protect their assets...
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Also, forgot to say, my sister and I both are POA for my mother ,my Mother is for my Dad
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Your mom has POA for your dad. Is there a secondary POA? Who has POA for your mother?

Is your sister just bipolar or does she have this and borderline personality disorder? If she has both, that is a bad combination of emotional instability.

Your mother does not need a $500,000 dollar house. That money would be better spent on your dad's care and her care and let the house go to Medicaid if that is ever needed for one or each of them.
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My 86 yr. old Mom does
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Does anyone have POA?
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