In March my dad got diagnosed with esophageal cancer. He has went down hill fast. My step mom is his “care taker”, but I don’t feel like she is doing a good job. Here’s why.
He has went through chemo and can barely walk to the bathroom alone. He is super constipated and hasn’t used the bathroom in days. They initially gave him morphine for pain. He has a feeding tube. He had an allergic reaction to the morphine. His lips were swollen. He tried to tell her that and she complains that she couldn’t tell it was happening. She fusses at him and screams at him if he asks her for anything, a towel etc. when feeding him through his tube she pushes the food or medicine as fast as she can. My dad just sits there and cries all day. And she yells at him for it. The doctor gave him different pain medicine, but it doesn’t seem strong enough. He can’t work and she refuses to work. He asked me to help him sign up for disability etc. but she refuses to give me the paper work that I need. She made the comment the other day that she was going to have my sister come sit with him so she could sleep. But she didn’t cause she was worried she would give him extra pain medicine. He has finished chemo. My step mom packed him up in the car the other day and they drove to North Carolina. She didn’t ask his doctors if he could or not. He gets sick and ends up in the hospital there. She never called me. I found out about it on Facebook. Then I call her to see what they said and she acts like it’s nothing. She literally laughs and acts like it’s completely fine. He had kidney surgery the other day and they put a stent in. He bled at lot today and she laughed at it when I called. We can’t talk to him, nothing. She is also living off “donations” people are giving her. She laughed yesterday cause some woman sent her $200. I can’t handle this. The kidney doctor came back by to see him today and she told me he didn’t tell her anything. I don’t know what to. I have to watch what I say or do because she won’t let me see him if it makes her mad. Please help!
* If s.m. is screaming at your dad - or signs of abuse, call the APS to check (Adult Protective Services).
* I would do both ASAP.
Gena / Touch Matters
Please report it asap.
But, you have to decide what he wants.
Do you want him living with you?
Are you willing to be his Caregiver?
As bad as it may seem to you, being I'm a Senior Home is not fun at all. They are understaffed and he probably would feel lonely and unloved.
You should ask him what he wants and go from there.
It is very hard being a Caregiver.
Msave you would do better giving your stepmother a break and let her sleep while you visit your dad for the day.