Follow
Share

At one time I tried to intervene in my husband's brother's medical care who at the time was my part time employee. Took him to the emergency room where I asked the care team to check his blood sugar, suspecting diabetes, Sure enough he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He said the doctor and I were full of sh--. He didn't believe it and continued his bad habits without medical care. He had wounds that didn't heal and has now gradually lost his eyesight. When I visited his house (that my husband and I own) I was told not to come there again unless invited. He has managed to get all necessary medical help he needs. Do I have an obligation to take care of him?

Find Care & Housing
Nope, not only do you not have an obligation, he told you no. So the answer is NO. Stop trying to help him. He doesn’t want help.
Helpful Answer (13)
Reply to Bulldog54321
Report

No, of course you don't. In fact, to insist on visiting and advising you are being intrusive to someone who has already let you know he doesn't appreciate your help; he feels it as interference in his own business.
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Attempting to take care of a person who clearly doesn’t want your help is an exercise in futility. This man has chosen his path. I have a sibling who’s currently doing much the same, it’s sad but also his choice and nothing I can fix. Leave him to his choices
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

No, you are not obligated to care for him. I would say he won't last much longer anyway. His kidneys will probably give out and the toxins that build up in his body will kill him. His mind will be affected to. Or, he will have a heart attack. Those sores that aren't being attended to, will become septic and kill him.

You can call APS but he probably will not let them in. If he ends up in a hospital and maybe rehab, you tell the Social workers that you will not take on his care. And, it would be unsafe for him to returned home because there is no one to care for him and no money to pay for care. They will need to get the State involved and have them assign him a Guardian.

Your home he is living in. He is a tenant and as the landlord you have a right to examine your property. Like said you give notice you are coming. Check with your Housing dept to see what rights you have.
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

He has already answered your question...no, he does not want you involved in his medical business. You cannot force someone to take care of themselves. What does your husband think about all of this? After all, it is his brother...just curious.

Hopefully you have a tenants agreement with him so that you can tell him you will be coming in every 4-6 months to check the furnace filter and or the state of the property that you own.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Jamesj
Report

1. You can not "take care" of someone that does not want your care.
If he does ask for your help you are under no obligation to help him. (you can help him get the care he needs but you do not have to help him personally. since he has managed to get the help he needs this seem like a non issue

2. You have no legal right to his medical history or information. Unless you are on his medical HIPAA forms as a person that can get information the medical staff can not legally give you any information.

3. His residence, that you and your husband own is his home. Legally if you have to get into the home you have to give him notice. (most leases will say 24 or 48 hours notice before you can enter)
If you are going to enter as guests and not landlords you knock at the door or ring the bell and wait to be invited in. He has the right to deny your entrance.

4. If you suspect that his health is in danger you call APS and report a Vulnerable Senior (or adult if he is not a Senior) and let the process unfold as they follow up.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Do you really think you're legally obligated to take care of a person you don't have POA for and who is an adult? Only you can answer whether or not you feel some moral obligation to help him.

If he rents the home he lives in from you and your husband, neither of you has any right to just 'pop' over without being invited. If he is not keeping your property decent and is not paying rent, you can legally evict him and should.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
Report

JJRaccoon: IN NO WAY do you have an obligation to such a mean-spirited individual.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Llamalover47
Report

NOPE!

Untreated diabetes is like a slow death sentence and so sorry to see your brother in law’s condition.

See an attorney if you want to evict your tenant:; makes no difference he is family by marriage or not.,
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Patathome01
Report

Is he renting from you, or are you just letting him stay there? I would be concerned and stay in touch, but not offer to help with anything unless he asks. He probably won't unless he needs a ride to the ER again. Leave him to his choices.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to ShirleyDot
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter