My husband's Dad is now in a severe dementia ward, he is mild, His 3rd wife and her daughter have lied to my husband and his sister stating that the facility he's in has a 48 hour notice policy but they got them to agree to a 24 hour notice if they want to take their dad out somewhere. My husband lives 35-40 minutes from the facility but during the week, he's an hour and a half away from his place of employment. At times, spare of the moment where we can take a trip to his dad's facility and when his dad is "normal/sharp", may ask to go for a drive, go to a park, go get a hotdog, icecream, etc. so 48-24 hour notice is not convenient all the time. I ended up calling the facility and finding out there is no such rule. All they ask is if we're driving a distance like we are, we may want to call ahead for a heads up on their part in case his father is taking a bath, etc. My husband's sister was in there yesterday and her father and his wife were sitting in a room. Sister asked her dad if he'd like her to get a hamburger from a particular place he likes that has closed, but they have a truck out nearby selling them. He said he'd like that, and the wife said no. Daughter said to his wife, "do you ever listen to him? He said he'd like to have one." Two days prior the daughter and her dad's wife had a confrontation. Her dad wanted to go out in the garden area to sit outside, he had fallen the weekend before and wife told the nurses he didn't need to be checked out by a doctor, he had a low-grade fever, and thought he had a UTI. So when daughter was about to take him outside, the wife said NO! and the husband's daughter asked, "why not?" and she yelled for everyone to hear (because they were in the open area of the memory care ward, "because he has dementia! he can't make a decision." So my question is, can an Elder Care Attorney be the one that my husband and his sister should seek out to see if they have any rights when it comes to just wanting to take their dad out for a while, like to go to a restaurant without having this 24 hour rule that obviously was not the facility's rule, but the wife's rule? Also, to see if they have the right for communication on his care, his doctor's appointments, etc., since wife will not take him to a specialist to even determine what type of dementia he has and at what stage. He was diagnosed by an Internist locally. I've spoken to a number of people for advice, and they all don't understand why the wife wouldn't welcome the adult children with open arms to take her husband out because it would make him happy. We believe it's all about "control" since in the past 26 years since I've even known her, she appears to be a control freak. Has anyone on this forum dealt with split families where there are step mothers and her children involved? Does his kids have any rights when it comes to such pettiness? As my husband has said, if we see on his dad's calendar he has an appointment, he's going to a picnic or whatever with his wife and/or her family, he wouldn't take him out...we believe she's not being reasonable.