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My mother who has dementia told me today that my dad yells at her all the time and pushes her down. I have seen bruises on her and when I confront my dad he says he's holding her so she can't beat him up. I know that she did punch him in the face and she does get very angry. She goes after my dad but then tells me he's mean to her and hurts her.

See if her doctor can prescribe something. If it doesn't work it maybe time for a NH.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Yes he is her caregiver and we have sat down and discussed her and his well being. He is a very proud man and he's not ready to make any changes yet. He calls me several times a day just to vent or talk. I do get over there as much as I can to give him a break. He's not ready for homecare visits yet. Also, he seems to be losing it and I'm not sure if it's because this has become so overwhelming for him. Thank you for your response.
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gladimhere Jan 26, 2019
Maybe he is developing dementia too? When is the last time he had a check by his doc? That doc would also talk to him about the importance of him taking care of himself. Sometimes, it just cannot be done, safely, any longer.
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Yes, they will accuse caregivers and anyone of things that are very hard to believe. And if she is hitting dad, she is a danger to herself and others. What if she were to do this in the middle of the night while dad was sleeping? Or snuck up behind him and tried to choke him? They are bound to do anything.

And like FF said, it is time to have that very difficult chat with dad about the care she needs and that he cannot safely, provide.
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Tammy, yes dementia patients can accuse caregivers of physically beating them. I remember my Mom telling me some crazy abuse stories that I knew could not be real.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm

Tammy, is your Dad your Mom's main caregiver? Caring for a spouse who has dementia at this phase can becoming physically and emotionally overwhelming for him. He might not say so.

Might be time to sit down with Dad and see what options does he have, as this must be very difficult on him seeing your Mom in this phase.
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Reply to freqflyer
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