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Carol
If you want him to contribute to YOUR household and he won't then perhaps he should live else where. Helping with expenses is the most basic thing our elder can do. It could be that he feels entitled or doesn't trust you with access to his money. His behavior might only get worse and he could become more obstenant; then you have emotional issues along with the financial ones. If I were you, I'd start looking into alternative housing arangements.
How long has you Father-in-law been living with you?
What kind of expenses are you talking about?