Do any of you sometimes feel frustrated and talk snappy, irritably, with impatience and feel guilty afterwards?

I feel that way all the time:) Give yourself a break. Your parents are lucky to have you! The fact that you are there and actually care enough to feel guilty shows what a good person you are but this is a long journey and feeling guilty and horrible about yourself will only wear you down and the stress will kill you (literally). Take care of yourself!

Thank you for answering! Have you ever been impatient or frustrated?

Our elderly loved ones do things that irritate us, especially when we’re tired and have had a busy day!
But I always remind myself ‘what harm was done?’
If the house is still in one piece and no ones hurt, we’re good! 
Hang in there and don’t feel bad for having emotions and apologizing. You have a lot on your shoulders.

Yes, all the time!

Thank you! That's a good reminder! But have you ever talked snappy and impatient to your love one?

I think you'd have to be some kind of saint not to get frustrated and impatient.

They say the key is to walk away. Of course, it's hard to walk away when they are about to break something, or stab themselves trying to open something with a knife, or when they're sitting on the floor in their own poo, or when you have to get them somewhere, like NOW, and they are dawdling like a little kid. Then you just have to stop them, or get them moving, or whatever you have to do. And reap the consequences.

I think eventually you figure out which things are worth the consequences and which are better to walk away from. I haven't got the balance quite down yet, but I'm getting better.

I felt guilty as hell for a long time, for my frustration and impatience. I don't feel guilty anymore.

Do you want to rephrase that question? "Are any of you caregivers also human?" Of course we all get impatient and crabby sometimes!

This mantra helped me to minimize my impatience: "It is not Husband who is doing this. It is the dementia." And when I did occasionally snap, I'd apologize. "Oh honey, I am so sorry I was so angry. I am not really mad at you. I am very angry at this awful disease, and I know it is not your fault."

If you didn't feel a little guilty after doing something you shouldn't have done I'd question your fitness to be a caregiver. But keep things in proportion, please. "Oops. I shouldn't have done that. I'll apologize and try not to repeat the mistake." But making a mistake doesn't make you a no-good person! Apologize and move on. Feeling horrible the rest of the day wastes energy and gets in the way of being the great caregiver you want to be.

Operator-Jeannie and Water are right. I could have wrote your question. We are human and we err at times. I too feel so bad when I have hard days, that I did not handle as well as I think I should have. But we learn from them and just try and do better.
This is a hard job we have and we fall down get up and keep going. I pray a lot and rely on God for strength.
Don't beat yourself up, the fact that you feel bad, as Jeannie said shows you do care.

Operator, I’ve had emotional conversations with Grandma where I have raised my voice and gotten upset when she yelled at me. I just reminded her that we’re family, we need each other and left the room.
She came around because she realizes that I’m all she has.
I had been holding in my emotions which resulted in severe anxiety! So I’ve learned to manage that so I don’t take it out on her or me!
Long walks, reading, yoga, deep breathing, spending time with boyfriend and even work are my escapes.
It’s tough sometimes but I remind myself I only have one Grandma and I really do adore her.
It’s always a challenge to caregive so give yourself some space to live your life.

Constantly stressed! Ready for a rubber room!

Nobody is a saint, but if angry and irritable is becoming a constant in your life you need to find ways to relieve the pressure.

Yes. And it is a sign I need a break. I don't want the anger/frustration to spill over into my daily life--removed from caregiving.

yes get frustrated a lot! and my mom doesn't even live with me, she's at AL
but I visit a lot. and stay for several hours. So during those time, YES
I loose my patience. I don't say anything bad, but my patience may be apparent to my mom.

because she wants to do things her way :) Wont listen to what she needs to do. She also hides things, moves things, breaks things, removes batteries from clocks and remotes.(and she wants me to fix) I get frustrated a lot. Mostly I get anxiety about the future, I know it doesn't help to worry. I try to just take it day by day.

My mom thinks she is perfectly Ok. So just try to focus on having a good visit..
I try not to discuss certain issues with her. Certain issues, she just wants more info, then she cant remember the details. ie: going around in circles...

she had staples in her arm from a recent fall. and supposed to keep these strips on the wound. AL is supposed to watch, but mostly falls back on me to keep track. so yeah mom pulled off the strips...

I was a different person when my Mom came here to live. She had Dementia. I think it was that I Didn't want to be responsible for her care. I had/was watching my then, 20 month old Gson and had been since he was born. I was 65 yrs old and retired since I was 62. I was tired of watching him and then had her. It was like having a 85 yr old toddler. 24/7 care. I had no patience. She was paranoid at times. Took it out on me. Wasn't fair. I had two brothers that couldn't stand seeing her like this. What about me? Even when she went to an AL I had responsibilities. Had a very hard time dealing with it all. I hate forms. Had a very hard time watching her decline and get frailer. I prayed that God would take her home. It wasn't fair to her to live like this. Was this part of the journey she was suppose to experience or was I suppose to learn something. I learned I am not a caregiver. I will not be caring for another person unless it's my husband.

all the time here. I find there are two situations and often a mixture of the two. Sometimes my mother is so challenging and frustrating I would challenge anyone to be with her for a length of time without blowing up. Sometimes I have sort of a pre emptive blow up which sub consciously I have learned shuts her down. In those cases I feel guilty as I probably should have been able to put up with the frustration up to that point. So I guess who among us don't have areas where we have to learn more patience. I am always trying. At the same time, sometimes things can be so frustrating that Jesus Christ would blow up

My husband does not have any idea that he has any "disease". To him he just has "a bit of a memory problem" and does not know who I am and despises me because I won't buy beer or give him s cigarette every time he wants one. He calls me vile names and no matter how many times I hear "it's not him, it's the disease", it does not help one bit-not one little bit. He sits and sulks when he doesn't get exactly what he wants or if we are out of something because it's the end of a month and our bank account is empty. The cost of providing him with every food item he expects, all month long, plus the supplies he needs, the co-pays eat up every extra dime we might have and of course he cannot understand that so I am stealing his retirement. So yes, by the end of two or three days of this or weeks or months or years, I am exhausted and angry. Today his kids came by and brought ice cream and entertained him for a couple of hours and I was grateful, but I just wanted to take any, yet had to be a hostess and be gracious to them and their three dogs. Dad was expecting to be taken "home" and was packing an interesting variety of his belongings, tying them up with a belt, while i sat on the patio and wiped the tears from my eyes. Not they are gone and I face yet another crazed confused night. They come and they go by 4 pm. I want to scream and I feel sad angry and guilty. I guess up it happens to most of us. 

She, are you burned out or is it just a temporary meltdown? Really? I would be getting him into AL or a group home before putting up with this stuff.... even if I love him, ESPECIALLY if I love him, because I wouldn't want to learn to resent him....