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I don't know how to explain how it feels losing my mom, I gave up my life for the last almost 8 years to care for her everyday. How do I keep going now that she is gone? I just don't know where to even start. I'm 37 have an almost 8 year old. She is my world, but there is a HUGE hole where my mom once was. I still get up every morning and think "I have to get Mom up". I can still hear her yelling "help". I just need to talk to someone who has been there done that. My mom was also a C02 retainer and needed constant care the last year of her life. I think of the year she maybe remembered 20% of it. I feel all this guilt for cleaning the house while she was alive and not spending more time with her. I just am so lost without her. I lived so much of my life and time for her that now I don't sleep I hardly can eat. My daughter and I spend all the time in the world together, but she is feeling it too because she helped care for her grandmother. I didn't think losing her would be harder than caring for her, but it truly is. I miss her so much! No one understands around me because my brothers kept on living while she was sick and they were only around when they wanted to be they keep saying "get a job you'll feel better". My daughter is my job and keeping the house caught up for our dad, etc. How do others move on after being a 24.7 caregiver? Before my mom was diagnosed, I cared for my oldest daughter who passed away at 2 1/2. I went from caring for my daughter to caring for my mom, 10+ years of being a caregiver. I just don't know how or where to start to feel normal. I'm so confused and lost.

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Dear tryingyourbest,

My deepest condolences and sympathies. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is great. Its a terrible shock to lose a beloved parent. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. Take it day by day for now. And when you are ready maybe consider talking to a grief counselor or joining a support group. Everything you are saying and feeling is natural and normal. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Sending you and your daughter all my thoughts and prayers.
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((((((trying)))))) my sincere condolences on losing your mum. Any loss of a loved one is hard and losing one you have cared for so intensely is harder, I think. I have not lost a LO I have cared for, but I have lost a child and that for me was the hardest grief. Did you have time to process the loss of your 2 1/2 year old while starting to care for your mum? Two such losses must be very difficult to cope with. Feeling such a hole is normal, as you spent so much time and energy caring for your mum. The first days, weeks, months of grief are very painful. When you are ready, joining a grief group may be helpful. There are others here who have gone through the loss of the LO they cared for and I hope they will post and share with you. ((((((((hugs)))))))
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