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I assume it is not going into the NH that is the issue, but the need to apply for Medicaid. Is that correct?

It is a possible approach to the situation. Discuss this with an experienced elder law attorney, preferably in a frim where there are also family law experts.

It is a sad truth that if you'd never been married the assets in your name would not now be at risk. But whether or not a divorce would "fix" the risk now requires knowledgable legal advice.

I am very sorry you even have to ask this question. To have one's life partner requiring professional care is painful enough, without difficult financial challenges. Hugs to you both!
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I agree, I'm in the same situation. I now have to retire 6 years early to take care of my husband because no one will pay for custodial care, and we can no longer afford the $1500 a month to pay a caregiver during the day while I work. But as long as you both have assets you cannot get ANY help at all. The dept of aging told me pretty bluntly that we make to much money so I said well if I quit my job and go on welfare he can get all the help he needs, and she said - pretty much. Isn't that sad, you pay your taxes all your life and then when you need help you can't get it. If he is a Vetran, try to get the Aid and Assistance money, you may be able to go that route, we are trying that now.
Hugs to you, and may God watch over you both every day. JAD711
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I response to Jack's comment about splitting of assets, this is what my parents did with help of Medicaid specialist attorney. My mother still has (after my dad being in NH 7 years) house, car and a specific annuity that met Medicaid requirements... also got to keep my dad's monthly pension and SS benefit to maintain her "lifestyle"...and my parents were pretty well off. A good attorney pays for him/herself.
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My husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor & eventually died (17mo later) of it. Three years before the diagnosis of a GBM, AAA of the right pariatal brain (sp) he had been acting extremly weird which I assumed was from being an alcoholic. For two years I threatened divorce if he would not quit drinking & in the third I did. He was diagnosed with the tumor June 6 our divorce was June 21 & he died 9/13/01. I am so happy we were divorced. He continued to live with me & I was the sole caregiver until he died at home in bed with hospice care. He was able to give me a quit claim to the house, all the credit card debit was washed away after he died. he had run up debts with them for stuff he couldn't use but they graciously offered condolences & wrote it all off. I had years before, when stuff started to get funny did my taxes "married but filed singly", then the divorce... so all his tax mess was washed away. Other than dealing with a hoarders collection of crap, the divorce free'd me from all his debts before & after his death. Thank heavens because I could hardly work & was making 17K a year trying to care for him. I'm thinking all old people & maybe not so old should get divorced to protect themselves from these issues. It's a shame but when you can't control crazy behaviour that finacially affects your finances, you are forced to a defensive possition. Just get it done quick. Good luck.
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Definitely talk with an elder law attorney (who has knowledge about Medicaid) or a senior legal aid service. Sometimes couples are able to split spouses, but states may also have a spousal impoverishment provision that allows the at home spouse to keep additional assets and income, while still qualifying the nursing home spouse for Medicaid.
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In Iowa there is a process called "attribution of resources" which allows the healthier spouse to maintain the current lifestyle. Certain things are exempt from inclusion, as income generating resources (rental property, home business etc) the home and a vehicle are exempt, then resources are totalled, then split in 1/2. It's required to spend down that 1/2 on medical cares, living needs etc before eligible for medicaid assistance. The intent is to prevent "spousal impoverishment." I would assume many other states have something similar to this and suggest checking with your state medicaid program.
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Check "Caregiver Forum" on this website and look under Money&Legal -- might be some helpful info here -- or one of the "experts" on this site might give you guidance or starting point. Divorce seems expensive and emotionally unnecessary -- better to consult an attorney that is a specialist in eldercare and elder law.
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I was in a similar situation with my husband 3 years ago. I consulted an elder law attorney who helped us to get my husband on Medicaid by putting all of our assets in my name. We live in AZ, but I assume the laws vary from state to state. If you haven't already consultedwith an elder law attorney, I encourage youjto do so.
God bless you.
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Yes !!! there are things you can do. But it all requires carefull planning. Hiring a elder law can be very helpful....But there are things you can do on your own. First you can do a (interspousal tranfer) look it up on line, of the deed to your house tranfering all property into your name this is not considered a sale so no taxes involed. If you have power of attorney you can order on line Suzy Orman self help series and SET UP your own trust putting all
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assets in you name. Tranfer car titles into your name or sell any unused items like the extra car . Also i heard that VA nursing homes don't do a look back period. A TRUST is untouchable because the assets won't belong to either you but to the trust. If you do the trust your self hire attorney to look it over and have it notarized it shoud'nt cost that much and worth it. Check into VA pension .gov if hubbies a VET. No divorce it will cut you from most of your husband's benefits in the long run and you don't deserve that. If you can afford get conservatory over husband that will put in control of everything like SS, VA and his health and physical person.That is a must....Last .....research!! this subject on the web there's lots of info there.I hope this helps it has for me. Stay strong you can do this. If all else fails give home to child you trust in a ...(Quick claim Deed) research....E-how on internet. These things must be done before you fill out medicaid claim and place him in home. ..A good Elder Law Attorney is still a fine place to start.... Good Luck
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