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I am going to divorce my husband of 27 years. He did not take care of himself, and has caused all of his health issues. He is almost bed-bound. I can not move him about, and our 20-year-old son needs to feel he can leave home once his training is complete. There has been verbal abuse from him. I am just plain tired. I still work full-time, and he is on partial disability from his work due to hospital stays. We started with a dissolution, so when our health insurance couldn't cover all of his needs, he would qualify for other benefits. I found out accidentally that he has run up his credit card bills and has been participating in online gambling (where you bet on whether someone will be elected or whether a person will make a speech in Congress). I am done. I am filing, and I have a good attorney. The question is getting him out. Has anyone been through something similar? I am just trying to prepare. I don't hate him. I am just really, really disappointed. I just wonder how I will actually get him out. I am willing to pack his stuff and unpack it before I walk away.

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If he is almost bed bound, he likely needs to go to a nursing home anyway! I hope you can keep the house. Unless he is independently wealthy, he can't afford to hire 24/7 caregivers. I doubt any kind of government services would cover that. It's sad that our government forces young caregivers to divorce or lose it all but, that is the bottom line in many of these situations. God bless you! Protect your son. Do not allow his Dad to bring him down with himself.
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Reply to Caregiveronce
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Do speak with your attorney about this.
We cannot know the details.
You have been married for 27 years. Your husband is likely part owner or on the deed of your home? You will likely need a forced sale of the home, which typically happens in a divorce. When assets are divided your husband will likely be using his toward his care.

Whatever the details are for you, we aren't privy to them nor are we legal experts. I wish you best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Apple, Your posts seem a bit contradictory. One side is “The attorney had told me that I had to let him stay since the house was acquired while we were married”, the other is “All of the assets are in my name”. The house is possibly the largest asset. If it is ‘in your name’, did the attorney know that? Usually a house acquired by a couple is in joint names, but perhaps yours is not?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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The attorney seems to think things will go my way due to everything I have done to look after the family. It will be up to the judge. I am prepared for any outcome. I am just tired. Thank you for your response.
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Reply to Apple1964
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As the others have said, check with your lawyer and protect your assets. Gambling is an addiction and he will likely continue. You can get help for yourself and your son from Gam- Anon. I wouldn't worry about getting him out. That will be sorted as you go through the divorce process.

Wishing you well in this. I'm glad you have work and, presumably, financial stability of your own.
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Reply to golden23
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Apple1964 Nov 30, 2025
I have everything protected due to his health over the years. My financial stability will most likely improve once things settle. It is just a big step, and one I didn't plan to take this way. Thanks for the reassurance.
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You are ‘going to divorce your husband’, you are ‘filing’ (but probably haven’t filed yet), and ‘have a good attorney’. Because of H’s gambling etc, you need to protect yourself and your finances immediately. The divorce will sort all the rest of it out, but it will take time. In the meantime, you could be ruined if assets are in joint names. Put it to your attorney as an immediate issue, not just something to go into the divorce proceedings.

You seem to be assuming that he will leave, you will stay in the house, and your problem is “how to get him out”. Remember that the outcome of the divorce may be different.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Apple1964 Nov 30, 2025
I am prepared for the worst: either he gets the house, or we have to sell. It will not be ideal, but I can make it work. All of the assets are in my name due to his health over the years, to try to protect the family. The attorney will file this week; the holiday has slowed things a bit. All the debt is on his credit cards. Thanks for the thoughts. I needed to know if I had done all I could do at this point. It looks like I have. I now need to be patient. Thank you for your response.
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I think you should ask your attorney about how to arrange for a physical separation, including what will happen to the marital home, who should move out, and how much assistance you should provide to your husband if he is the one that you are expecting will move out.
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Reply to Rosered6
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Apple1964 Nov 30, 2025
The attorney had told me that I had to let him stay since the house was acquired while we were married. It could go many ways. Thanks for responding.
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