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My husband is 29 yrs older than me. He has had mulitiple strokes that left him homebound, he cannot speak,write or walk, needing a sitter so I can continue to work. (I am 56) Elder Care lawyer says I should divorce him for my asset retention. I fear the new laws for Medicaid in Illinois will leave me broke if I have to move him into a nursing home. What are my options.

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Marjim - 56! I'm Class of 75 or as I think of it, the class between total facelift and just a neck & jowls job.You need to do whatever is likely to be best for you and your next 40 years. Some states allow for spousal refusal (like NY). You really should take the time and get all your & his paperwork together and see an elder law attorney or a good estate attorney. If he or you have property acquired before marriage or kids from prior marriages, all this can get complicated and you need to make sure whatever you do will hold up both for any Medicaid review or family blowback. All these are the sort of things that have a hard reality check that we all have to do. try not to put this off otherwise you might have to deal with this under even more duress.

I'm a slightly younger 2nd spouse (have a kid in high school) & we've been through lots of dealing with Medicare Medicaid & estate/probate mazes in dealing with our mom's & aunts. There is just so much to think about, consider & weigh and really you need an outside experienced viewpoint on this that knows your state's laws, which a good attorney can be. For example, one thing we didn't ever even think about the ownership of our life insurance policies. Most couples have it so that each is the others beneficiary. But say your hubby gets on Medicaid, and you have an auto accident and die. Then all of a sudden that 100K policy is now his. And he is 100K richer and is too far into dementia to deal with it. But as our attorney pointed out, you can have another legal entity be the beneficiary and therefore there is $ that can be used for him but never is owned by him so no Medicaid issues. If he has property from before you that goes to his kids from earlier marriages, attorney can do a usufruct or other legal vehicle, so that you can continue to use it but doesn't change the intent to leave whatever to his kids. You can't plan for all possibilities, but at least you'll have a plan to start with. Good luck
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I would. You need to protect your self. Sorry to be blunt, but, you need to make sure that you have money to live on, and care for your self when the time comes. Protect your assets.
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I agree with Jeanne. Good luck.
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Divorce is one option. It does not have to change the nature of your relationship.

I've often thought of how much better off I would have been financially if we'd never bothered to get married. Family values ... yeah, right.
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