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Now being put in a nursing facility.

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Cady, are people making these comments directly to you? In this case, you laugh gently and say, "you see, I want my mother to be cared for professionals who know what they're doing". If others are 'reporting' these comments to you, I'd ask the reporters why they would want to pass that on. Are they trying to stir the pot? Foment a family fight? Act in a passive aggressive way?
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Cady, people can be so intentionally cruel sometimes. It may also be that they're secretly fearful they may end up in a similar situation. "There but for fortune go you or I."
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Thank you for your support. In my mind I KNOW it is the right decision, but in my heart is HURTS !
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"Excuse me?? I'm sorry, what did you mean by that?" Sometimes, the only way to stop it is to confront it head on. Most people who toss around innuendo are cowards.

And listen! I've known a number of people who didn't want to put mom and dad in a nursing home. SOME of them didn't do it because they wanted their parents' rainy day money after they passed. And! Some of THOSE parents lived in hell because of it.


Don't EVER apologize to anyone for electing to put a loved one in a nursing home. Depending on the patient, those nursing homes are EXACTLY where they belong.

And in case others wonder, I took care of my own mom at home. During her last week on this earth, though, I was making arrangements to get her into a nursing home.
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Cady, are the relatives making comments because you aren't your Mom full time hands-on 24/7/365 caregiver and that you placed her into a continuing care center? Just brush it off as those relatives being naive about what is involved with careing for a person who has Alzheimer's/Dementia. Just tell yourself that you are doing what you think is best for your Mother.
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Tell them you wonder if their family will talk about them when THEY age, and perhaps develop dementia, as they're now talking about your mother.

Or if you want to be nasty, ask them who'll take care of them when they are diagnosed with dementia.

If they're distant relatives, perhaps they should remain that way. I wouldn't share any more information about your mother than you already have.
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