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I am 24/7 caregiver for mom. No one else even sends her a card or calls. She put me as beneficiary of a life annunity. She was told by broker that this would not go into probate. If something happens to her, do I have to tell estranged parties I received this. If it is contested who pays attorneys fees. I have devoted my life, left my career and am giving my mom the best final years of her life. They do not care but will probably show up with hands out.
She also set up a joint checkng account with me many years ago (we are very close) I do not misuse her money - but could a court make me go back and reaccount. I pay for things for her on my credit cards and cash. We have just all thrown it together for years. She is living with me for the past 6 years. Not paying rent or caregiving. She is older now and requires 24/7 caregiving. Not to mention the dirty laundry, stress, etc. I love her dearly and am not in it for the money. She demanded to have it put in my name because it came from my step dad (to her) and I cared for him. I'm stressed out enough now don't want a court issue later. Although, I am the only one deserving. Not like it is a fortune or anything.

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To be sure, I'd see an estate attorney. I understand "throwing it all together," as that's instinctive when the elder has needed your care all of these years and you are the only one doing it. Yet, people can get nasty about money. Please see an attorney to know your rights and to protect yourself against later repercussions.
You don't want ugly stuff thrown at you after all that you've done.
Take care,
Carol
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I would like to add, my mother has no property. She sold the house her and my dad had and bought us kids a new car. Married at a very late age...he was 86...he had a stroke and she asked me to quit my career to help her take care of him as he was an invalid after stroke. So none of the annunity came from anything from my father. Only my step father who none of them would have anything to do with, because he was so old.
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Definitely see an elder care attorney. Review both the beneficiary and ownership issues. If she ends up on medicaid, they may be able to take the annuity as an asset she owns. There is a 5-year look-back rule in many states. It should be safe from that but get attorney advice on it. My mother assigned ownership of her annuity to me many years ago, just to be on the safe side.
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I am not worried about medicared. She has nursing home insurance if I can no longer care for her. .
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golfbhard - I have sibling issues as well. I am reposting from a post I made yesterday and hope it helps:

I just found this site this weekend. I have -0- connection to them. I just think they are a great site - like this one is!

I want to share a great, inexpensive legal resource. I am spelling it out so it will not be nixed by the moderators. lawgurudotcom

I fear my brother, the one who wrote the weird email I posted yesterday, may decide to fly in for the burial (if he does) and clean out the joint account we hold with Mom. I don't say this lightly. His anger over not being named POA or in charge of Moms Will was what caused our estrangement in the first place. Also, I have learned from reliable sources that he has been under psychiatric care for erractic behavior (I will spare the details) for somke time, and was court-ordered into a psych ward for 10 days not too far back. (This truly breaks my heart but I can't deal with that just now).
Anyway, for $50 I had an online legal consult with an attorney in GA (where the assets are), who advised me to pronto move the money into an account in my name only. Keep copious records, he said, but do it. And so I will.

This site is different from others where you can pay for advice, as this site offers lawyers in YOUR state (this is vital as all state law is different), lawyers that specialize in certains areas (Elder care, probate, wills, etc), a true, confidential, attorney-client privilege, and does constitute legitimate legal advice. (They are also fully acredited by the BBB) Having worked in the courts for 10 yrs - I was extremely pleased with this service, and it cost me considerably less time and money than flying down to Georgia to talk to a lawyer would have taken.

So I pass it on. Hope you don't need such a service but it you do, check it out - Oh, and you don't pay til you're satisfied - if you don't like the 1st lawyer or answer you get, you can run through them all and yet only have to pay the one price.

Also golfhard - is Mom still mentally competent? If so, she can change her will - you can even find a lawyer to come to the house and/or you can do a "caregiver agreement" that spells out her wishes.

Let us know what happens. Good luck. Many of us have similar issues and truly feel your pain.
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Mariesmom~ So sorry to hear your situation. My my is an amazing 92 year old. She makes her own bed, but has some short term memory loss after a couple episodes last year. Blood transfustion and horrible flu. UTI's really get. her confused but after meds she comes right back.
I pray your brother doesn't do what you fear. If he is mentally disturbed, be careful.
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