What do you do when disagree with doctors?

Sometimes you just have to stand your ground. As many others have said....you know your mother, you take care of her everyday, you are aware of changes in her in a way they don't. When my MIL fell and hit her head the hospital wanted to send her home after three days even though she was incoherent, was stripping off all her clothes, not eating and extremely confused. I said absolutely not! And I insisted that they do more tests and X-rays, which they did. She was there for over a week and although no new diagnosis was made at least more things were ruled out. I also had to insist that she be transported back home by ambulance as she was to weak to walk and there was no way I could safely transport her myself...stand firm, you know your mother better than any doctor that only sees her for a few minutes. Good luck and God bless you.

What reason was given for putting your mom in the psyc hospital?

My main question is if the doctor in the hospital is the same person as the primary care physician. I imagine that they put her on Zyprexa to control some behavior she was exhibiting. After reading a little of her history in recent years, I can understand. Since she has been on and off hospice three times, I assume that people are just doing what they can for her at the moment. Sandy, work with the doctors to get the right combination of medications to keep your mother as comfortable as possible. I don't know what everyone is missing in her diagnosis, but my sympathies are with you.

About the writing, folks -- It is the way it is right now. People type differently on phones and punctuation is often left out. I run into it a lot with customers, who write to buy something. I think the main problem is the setup of iphones and others, where you have to go to the numbers screen to enter punctuation. Many people are just leaving it out now. (Then you have the OCD types like me that makes sure each message is written right before I hit the send button. There has even been a study on texting styles -- casual vs meticulous.)

There are several concerns here. The first one seems to be a lack of understanding on the part of the caregiver. I believe she must initially have someone she trusts speak with the physicians with her. Jut because she believes the person does not have dementia, is not conclusive.Then, both representatives inquire after a second opinion. Then follow through with the advice offered. Too frequent changes in medicatio regimens could throw the care receiver into confusion above and boeyond what she is experiening. Also this disease sometimes changes rapidly, o frequent med visits are indicated now.

This is my pet peeve that hospital doctors don't consult with primary. I have never had them stop Moms meds. Addto them, put not take her off what a previous doctor has put her on. Have her primary talk to the attending. Tell him she is not doing well on the new med. You can refuse a med.

Cooper1955 and glashalffull,

Those are very helpful stories. I have often wondered about the profiling. Or the assumptions that are made without really checking. My mom's family doctors just wrote prescriptions for her memory and anxiety without really testing her very well. Int turned out that she was WAY under-medicated and was having terrible bouts of debilitating, trust me, debilitating anxiety.

Recently Mom was in ER and needed to see a cardiologist (she has CHF) as she was having weird heart rhythm issues. the ER doctor said she needed to see cardiology. However the hospitalist who was assigned to admit her refused to order a cardiac consult. And put mom on meds for dizziness. They were going to release her without a cardiac consult, but I kept saying to her: "Mom, repeat after me, I am not leaving until I see a cardiologist". Finally we did get to see one, but only because we stood our ground.

I get very frustrated that medical folks often dismiss the caregiver and our knowledge about our loved one. We spend 24/7 and know what makes them sad/happy/angry/dizzy/etc or have experienced all those things with them. I am not just a family member. I know this person...not I just spent 5 minutes reading the summary and can make these decisions based on that and because I am the DR. If there was not a big problem, we still would have been at home!

I have found that very often the hospital staff make assumptions that are based on profiling. Recently my elderly Mother was checked by a therapist for having difficulty swallowing. I was told that since she had NOT suffered a stroke the problem is simply that she is old and I should put all her meals in a blender. Once home I did some research on the internet and found several sites with exercises that one can do to help strengthen the swallowing reflects. They worked great and she has been doing much better with her eating. Why were these therapists not aware of this? Why did they not make this recommendation instead of jumping to the conclusion she needed pulverized food? YOU are your Mothers advocate and as such you need to ask the tough questions. Demand that you have a consultation with ALL of your Mothers health care providers and do not quit until you have a complete grasp of the situation and have made your opinions known.
Also, in response to the grammar used I must admit it is very difficult to give advice when you cannot really be sure what the question was. I could not make heads nor tails out of what was posted on cmagnums wall.

If you are POA or medical POA you can TELL the medical staff you don't want your mom to have certain meds even though they feel they need to prescribe them. (Doctors get kickbacks from Big Pharma for as many drugs they can push on patients as possible). We had medical POA over my mom and gave the same to my mom's aunt when my mom was in the hospital due to medical malpractice. They kept doling out the dilaudid which made my mom hallucinate and become combative (more than likely so she would die and not be able to sue the hospital). They had to comply with our wishes and especially since my mom's sister was a former nurse, she was able to direct the staff in what would have been best for my mom. It made the staff angry and they got this "I'm god" attitude but they had to comply legally with our wishes. So you do have rights and a choice in how your mom is cared for. There should also have been a form that your mom (or POA) signed when she entered the hospital saying that the hospital has to inform you within a reasonable time if she is to be moved to another facility (just in case they want to send her off somewhere). If the case managers start that process, there's an 800 number to call and a member will show up and intervene or send a letter stating that your mom isn't to be moved anywhere until you give them permission. They tried doing this to us 2-3 times. I've also heard from people who brought their loved ones home even though the hospital said no and their loved ones got better. Something with being around familiar surroundings made a difference.

You're right, cmagnum. It's confusing. I'm not completely sure about everything being addressed either, but I hope Sandy is getting something from the various comments. The only thing I can boil it down to is that she needs a second opinion to guide her through a very difficult situation.

Thanks to everyone for the comments. Sandy, we'll keep trying to help if you want to give us feedback.
Take care of yourself, too,
Carol

Um. It doesn't shed a whole lot of light, CMag!

Not everybody is blessed with the literacy and/or typing skills to produce elegant text, particularly under emotional pressure. Bear with them or not, as you please, but please don't criticise the grammar and punctuation of people when they are asking for help. It is unkind and unnecessary.

This thread is very confusing for there was another one very similar to it that no longer exists. Anyway, if this helps, here is what Sandy posted on my wall in answer to my questions hours ago.

"yes she has been evalutated for Dementia parksons was mis diagnosed they said that when after she went through radition as a precaution couldn't walk so they said that truth is burnt her brain 14 days 2xs a day recently had dr agree with me yes I am her medical whatever reason for hospital last week coukd not control behavior prior to this hqad uti starte3d her on cipro so when she went to hospital; uti didn't show up and they would not let her finish out meds she had ten pills left"

If you are planning to sign your mother out AMA, (against medical advice), you will probably get zero help from the hospital. Why do you feel your mom needs a psychiatric facility? To experiment with what? Look what happened at the hospital. Talk to the doctors. Ask questions. Make a list of your questions so you don't forget. If you have the necessary paperwork, medical poa, that would help a great deal. Remember that introducing new medication is a process, and there are always side effects that may subside. Good luck

The days where the doctor was God are gone. When we disagree with doctors we have the right to look for a second opinion.

I admire and respect the profession and have met countless professionals who are at the top of their game. Unfortunately, I've seen and coped with several who were either behind the times or had such a terrific opinion of themselves that there was no communicating with them.

Seeking a second opinion is sometimes necessary. Good luck with your situation.
Carol

If you have power of attorney, you can simply tell them you do not wish her to be on this medication.

Sandy, it's terribly difficult to stand your ground when hospital doctors gang up on you. How do you get on with your mother's PCP/GP? - because if I'd got into a fight with, say, my mother's cardiologist or neurologist that's who I'd turn to for help, support or, at the very least, a fair explanation of why the hospital wants to follow this course of treatment.

The hospital medics ought not to be dismissing your concerns, and they owe you a clear explanation of what they're trying to achieve for your mother. But at such a stressful time it is SOOOO difficult to insist on these things and keep your cool. If you don't like the GP idea, do you have a neighbour, friend or relative who could accompany you for moral support or assist you with advocacy for your mother? Or is there a liaison office at the hospital that supports patients' and relatives' advocacy?

Get back-up, in short. Best of luck, I feel for you.

If she was better at home on original meds, ask why she's been switched to a drug that makes her worse.
If you feel the Drs. aren't taking the time to explain, then definitely go with your feeling and take her back home and put her back on her original meds.Unless she has an additional medical problem, then make sure they tell you clearly why the meds have changed.
Stand up for your Mother, make sure the Drs. give you a straight answer.
You are in charge, not the Drs., who sometimes treat the elderly in a manner they would never treat someone younger.
When your Mother can't speak up for herself, you must do it for her.

Are you her medical POA? It sounds to me like you may well need to ask for a second opinion.

Why did she end up in the hospital?

Has the doctor given any explanation for putting someone with Parkinson's on zyprexa?

What meds was she on before?

Has she been evaluated for dementia?