I have six siblings, one of whom has been receiving SSDI (and other government benefits such as housing assistance and Medicaid) for a number of years. She's a long term alcoholic and addict, but is actually a lot less disabled than many working people I know ( including another sibling who has truly been plagued with health problems all their life). She claimed seizures and memory lapses to get on SSDI, but she's pretty functional overall. She is really just a freeloader, someone who has never wanted to work at a real job. She's been in and out of jail and rehab, but claims to be sober for several years now.
Naturally she's had lots of money problems, as SSDI doesn't pay very well, (especially if you're buying street drugs with the money). She feels that other family members are obligated to help her (including bailing her out of jail, paying for her car repairs, etc.) since the rest of us all work or are retired with employer pensions. Now she's lost her front teeth and needs several thousand dollars for a new bridge. She emailed me and two other siblings asking for a "loan", and was infuriated when we each said we don't have that kind of money to lend out. (Especially to her, because I can't imagine how she would ever repay it given how little income she receives.) Now she's furious and nasty, demanding to know why she's being treated so shabbily and how the rest of us would like going around without front teeth. I sympathize with her really, but I don't feel obligated to help her (although I did help her in the past before I was retired). I have told her a million times to GET A JOB and she was never willing to consider it. I think being toothless (or carless, or homeless) is just the price you pay for making those choices, and it's nobody's job to bail her out of it, even her family's. Any thoughts?