Director of nursing getting a bit nasty, is it totally okay because of COVID-19?

I agree, pick your battles. Remember they are caring for a number of patients and trying to keep them in their rooms. Which must be very hard with those suffering from Dementia. Maybe the DON had a bad day. Everyone complaining about something she has no control over.

I know we would all like to speak to our love ones who are living in senior care facilities, but one needs to remember there is a triage system. The staff could have been busy with an elder resident who was ill, or who had fallen. Emergencies happen and it is so easy to place a video call at the bottom of the to do list.

Then throw in the C-19 virus into the mix, and all heck can break loose. This isn't an easy time for staff at senior facilities, nor at hospitals. Plus a lot of other places that customers want open.

I always tried to put myself into the shoes of the Staff back when my parents were in Assisted Living, and in Long-Term-Care.

Would yelling at you consist of using CAPS? :)

Judy, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, right? You're seeing where complaining can get you with the staff at your mom's place. Nowhere fast. You don't want to get someone fired, right? What is your goal, exactly? If you talk to the ED and complain about the DON, you're likely to get worse treatment from the DON as a result. And I'm sure you don't want that.

Pick your battles, is my point. Is everything going BASICALLY okay over there? If so, leave well enough alone. If there is something really wrong in the way of the care your mom is receiving, then of course you should speak to the ED or the DON or whoever would be able to resolve the issue. Or move mom out of there to another MC, knowing it might not be any better in the new place.

Nothing is perfect in a Memory Care situation. There is always something to complain about, my mother does so constantly and continually, non-stop. The food is horrible, the residents are 'out to get her', the care giver is snotty, etc etc ETC. I have scheduled several video calls with my mother only to have the activities director completely FORGET to actually do the call. On the other hand, every time my mother falls, I get a call. If there is a REAL issue, it's handled professionally, even though some other matters aren't. So I choose not to rake them over the coals for the forgotten video calls, and chalk it off to the AD being human and working a bit too hard these days. Even though it's irritating the crap out of me.

Let go of what you can let go of, and only sink your teeth into those issues that truly need to be addressed. Otherwise, you will be fighting a 24/7 battle with people who care for your mother and who will not appreciate that sort of feedback.

That's my suggestion.