Follow
Share

I removed my father from a nursing facility after he had a mental breakdown from the death of my grandfather and attempted suicide. Hi okay so I'm just going to cut the chace. He can walk talk feed himself without assistance and use a bathroom. He is completely blind that is all. He was transferred multiple times from different mental facilities and then went into a rehab into a nursing home and eventually he was kept there for a year. I didn't like the environment and my godmother is his HCP so we decided out of consideration that it would be best to remove him there because he would constantly complain. I'm 22 got my own apartment car everything set it all up for him and he is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to take care of. It has destroyed our relationship. He is not the person I used to know. I'm extremely depressed all I wanted to do was help him. It's only been a month and was diagnosed with schizophrenia and his episodes are really bad. He is on a steady decline. What should do I to have fast results? What should I do? Should I seek an attorney?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Hire an attorney for this complex situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Does he ever suggest that he will harm himself when he's in one of his 'episodes' or do you ever feel unsafe? If so, next time it happens, take him to the ER and let them know about it. That will trigger an evaluation. You should also let them know that you are unable to care for him. Do you work? You need to look out for yourself and your own future.
How old is your dad?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So young to be dealing with this. It's hard for me at 67. Just found out what I thought were good choices are not to Medicaid.

Start with your Dad's doctors. Get ur godmother involved if she isn't already. She is the only one who can sign off on paperwork or has the right to speak with his doctors. You need to explain u took on more than you thought. He is mentally ill and could hurt you. His reality is not yours. Maybe a doctor can have him readmitted for evaluation. Ur godmother is not responsible to take care of him in her home. Just to make sure there is money for his care and needs. To make sure bills are paid. That he is in a safe environment.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Yes, talk to the lawyer.

You are 22! You are too young for this in every way!

Get him settled somewhere and have a life of your own.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Did your godmother, the HCPOA, review his medical records, talk to staff and doctors, etc. prior to making the decision to remove him from the NH? I'd politely suggest that she learns about his condition and educates herself on how she might better serve his interest. It's understandable that you wanted to make your dad happy, but, you are young and obviously didn't realize the realities of caregiving around the clock for a parent who has a mental disability.

I'd let godmother know the situation must be remedied and ask that she work with his doctor to find a proper placement. And, why not inquire about the place he left, if he was there for a year? They are familiar with his needs and I think it's perfectly understandable that he would need to return due to the family not realizing that he needed the care at the facility after all.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Was your grandfather your father's primary caregiver until his death?

The responsibility for your father's wellbeing lies with your godmother, as your father's health care proxy. I am sorry that this has not gone better for everyone, no doubt it seemed like a good plan at the time, but as it has only been a month it seems reasonable to hope that you, she and your father between you can call a halt to the trial and reverse the decision.

Are you in close touch with your godmother? How would you expect her to react if you were to explain to her candidly that your father is more than you can cope with?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Unfortunately there is no quick fix. Get an attorney for what? What's your goal?
Not likely the same nursing home will take him back if he left AMA (against medical advice).
There are not many resources available to help families in coping or caring for a mentally ill family member.
Does he take medications for his schizophrenia? Who follows him for that ? A psychiatrist?
I have a schizophrenic family member as well and it is so difficult. If you actually get guardianship (which only happens after having 2 doctors find him incompetent) that doesn't mean you can make him do anything anyway.
I have no answers for you, unfortunately. How old is he? Schizophrenia is usually diagnosed in a person's 20's, are you certain that's his diagnosis?
Good luck to you. This will require all the love & patience you have.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Dear Alex,

I know you love your dad and wanted to help him. It is overwhelming being a full time caregiver. I would talk to a social worker first. They should be able to help you coordinate care and help you access all the resources you need for yourself and your dad. And I wonder if there are any additional resources you could access through work, school or the local church.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter