Difficult mother. Does anyone feel the same way?

It sounds like your mom is showing signs of mental decline. If that is the case, you know that she can't help what she says or does, as that is part of the disease and her broken brain. You listed your post under the Alzheimer's & Dementia tab, so you obviously are aware of her mental status, so I guess I'm just a bit confused as to why you are letting her bother you so, when you know she can't help it.
I would recommend that you watch some of Teepa Snows videos on YouTube on how to deal with a person with Alzheimer's/dementia, as education is the key to understanding when dealing with someone with mental decline.
If her care is getting to be too much for you, perhaps it's best to get someone else to take over the duties from you, or it may be time to have her placed in the appropriate facility. I wish you well.

Oh yes! I feel exactly the same, Taylorb1. My mom is 80 and lives alone too. Got food from food store for mom after she didn’t take meds, ended up in the ER and couldn’t drive. Complained that delivery person came to the front door instead of back door, got Wish Bone dressing instead of the store brand, etc. Not happy or thankful for food and to have it delivered. I could go on . . . None of us want to see our LO go through this and we need boundaries. Take a break from mom when you can. It has helped me.

Wanted to add to my previous post. You know, I did the grocery and pharmacy shopping and anything else that mom required for my mom after my father died. I did it for both of them when daddy was living.

Daddy never complained. Mom would criticize a lot.

I really feel like daughters take the biggest hits.

Anyway, I started calling from the store if they were out of her favorite brand of this or that.

I asked if she wanted something else. Nope, so off to another store I would go.

It is a pain in the butt! I feel for you.

So, along comes a strong storm. A real big storm, Hurricane Katrina and it destroyed her home. I moved mom in with us.

I was so naive back then that I thought it would be easier to have her live with us because I wouldn’t have to go back and forth to her house.

Guess what? I was still driving to two and three stores, making returns, etc. It had to be the PINK Oil of Olay!

How many hours are spent at the doctor’s office too?

I think that all of us who have done shopping for our mom’s and other errands too will surely empathize with you.

If you feel that your mom is no longer able to be able to live in her home, placing her in a facility will help both of you tremendously.

In a facility, meals are prepared and if you are lucky, she won’t complain about the food.

I’m curious. Does she complain with others like she does with you? My mom is kind to her caregivers at her hospice house. I am glad.

Now, my godmother who had ALZ was mean to her caregivers at her nursing home.

I hate to say this but my godmother was always mean, long before her dementia. Everyone is different.

Don’t hesitate to take advantage of anything that will help you keep your sanity and you will find comfort in knowing that your mom is cared for without the entire burden on you.

Even if your mom has caregivers at her home, she most likely will need further care down the line. It wouldn’t hurt to start inquiring about facilities for her to live in.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Do you think she is still safe living alone?

It's the dementia that's creating her paranoia and ungrateful attitude. That knowledge doesn't really make it a bed of roses for you to be running errands for her and getting accused of nonsense, though, does it? For what it's worth, I'm sick to death of doing lots of things for my demented mother and getting a spit in the eye in return for it. She lives in a Memory Care Assisted Living place, but there's still a lot of things she needs, or thinks she needs, and I'm the one who does the getting. And it's never quite right, and she's always pointing that out, and accusing me of lying to her and withholding medical care and on and on. It's very irritating and frustrating to deal with, so I sympathize with you fully. I've been dealing with my mother's histrionics for the past 10 years now, as an only child, and feel burned out, truthfully, as I'm sure you do.

I like the idea of having her groceries delivered, if that's an option. Why not try it?

Good luck to you!

I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time with your mom.

Have you considered having groceries delivered to her?

How often do you go shopping for her? Delivery services aren’t very expensive and it will be worth the extra money if you are stressed out by doing her shopping.

Then you can visit on your own terms when you desire.