My father-in-law (FIL) has stage 4 chronic kidney disease, and currently lives in assisted living in Seattle, together with mother-in-law (MIL). Both are 80. Recently, MIL fainted from exhaustion of helping FIL with basic duties, such as going to toilet, bathing, which FIL cannot do well anymore. Fortunately, all her tests came out fine. From this incident, they are moving to LA, to be closer to us.
MIL wants to live with us in our home, FIL will need to be relocated to assisted living facility here. I don't mind having the MIL, but I am freaking out about the FIL's close proximity to us. He's a tyrant, and we don't get along. My husband does everything for him, literally, EVERYTHING. FIL was first generation immigrant, and depends heavily on his son. It was a relief that we moved to LA, putting some distance between us. The past few years living apart from my in-laws have been wonderful, and we now also have an 18 month old toddler.
I find myself slipping into depression, I can't sleep nor eat well. In short, I am freaking out. I am seeking counsel from this group, and how best to handle, and re-frame the situation. Also, what is the prognosis for stage 4 kidney failure, without dialysis? Relative to his illness, it will be 2 years come June. FIL contracted pneumonia nearly 2 years ago which triggered kidney disease, he has a host of other chronic conditions, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. Thank you for your advice in advance.
Stressed in LA.