No dementia, active, invovled with them, we were all somewhat worried about his heart. He died April 23 in a hospital out of town. His papers instructed instant cremation, he had told me where to privately scatter the ashes, wanted no memorial or other ceremony. If other people wanted to organize one at the Community Center, okay, but I should stay out of it -- which I will do!
Daughter and I are dealing well with our grief. Daughter is moving in with me so we are keeping busy with practical things.
I'm okay but I couldn't deal with friends' sympathy right now. Not even cards or emails.
Daughter doesn't mind dealing with outsiders, but all three of us would like more time before that's needed. Luckily no one has called or come by, but if they do, we would have to be honest.
So, how long can we keep quiet without people being hurt or offended when they find out? This is a small, emotionally-close community of retired people, though our homes are wide apart in the woods, no stores to run into people at.