My parent's divorced decades ago. Dad remarried and Mum got a long term live in boyfriend, but did not marry him.
Dad is the one I have been worried about he had a massive stroke 2 years ago and although his recovery has been remarkable, his health is on the decline, his memory is slipping etc. I arranged for some home supports for him. My brother has POA and also has Dad live with him for much of the year, the rest of the time Dad is on his own. My Step-Mum in is NZ and neither of them are well enough to fly to the other.
I had dinner at Mum's last weekend. Her long term partner, a man I despise, is starting to slip. He is 83, he has slowed right down, his memory is shot and mum is concerned how much longer he can manage the stairs. The house is open plan with no main floor bedrooms.
The problem? If he goes into a facility and Mum loses his contribution to the household, she cannot afford to live in her house. She could look at getting a room mate, but I am not sure how much longer she is going to want to climb stairs too. Mum is 83 and in good health.
Mum is far too active for AL, most apartment buildings/Condos/stratas do not allow bigger, if any dogs. LeRoy, the dog, ensures mum gets out for a couple walks a day, plus he is good company. She needs a small garden to work in and a patio where she can visit with neighbours as they walk by.
I know this is not in the league of the incredible caregiving may of you are doing, but it caught me off guard. I had not given any thought to mum's partner's failing health and how it could impact Mum and her finances. I am a full time university student, who commutes 2 hours a day 5 days a week. I do not have time for this and school. School has to be the most important thing in my life as it represent a better future for me than my past allowed.