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My Dad had a stroke. I just couldn't make myself disclose all his financial info.to the Dept of Aging for help. My father's Medicare services (PT, OT, SP and a shower aide). The OT ended the shower assistance because she felt my dad could shower on his own. I feel he still needs help to ensure safety while getting into the shower at least once a week. He could have received services from the Dept. of Aging where they would have possibly covered a portion of the fee for home health aide service and Lifeline, but I just couldn't bring myself to give them ALL of his financial information (bank account statements, IRA's, stocks/bonds, annuities, home worth, etc.) to see if he would even qualify for them to pay a percentage. Also, they now send the financial info. to the state for Medicaid review even though he does not qualify for Medicaid. I'm feeling a little guilty that I put off submitting his information because he could use the help but will now have to pay fully out of his own pocket for Lifeline and a private aide. I don't want my father's money! I'm just having difficulty with the invasion of privacy. He isn't necessarily wealthy, but he worked hard for what he did manage to save. His doesn't have a mortgage but now has to pay rent for an apartment near my home while still paying taxes. etc. on his own. This arrangement cost less than assisted living. My house was not a suitable option.

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Ladybelle ~ in the different interpretations of the query - i understood that you are paying for Lifeline because based on what you did disclose, _their_criteria made your father ineligible for continued assistance. Perhaps i misunderstood - did they pay for awhile, and then overturn their decision perhaps. [If need be, doctors fill in were necessity interplays. Often, this is down through a social worker /agency hat the doctor is already working with.

In caring for my aunt's affairs - there IS a procedure in place where one agency sents info to another agency to coordinate needs and financial resources to see what may be available.

You must be truthful with an Eldercare Attorney -- go straight to their services and they will guide you. Any benefits obtained without necessity may be considered fraud [if info was purposefully withheld] and may require the agency providing the services to be reimbursed. Set your heart and mind at ease - your father is now your dependent, as i see it, which i why i mentioned the IRS - you may have your tax advisor look into the dependency provisions/rules.

Please meet with an eldercare attorney - they know the ins and outs and will / ought to know what is available for your Dad. It is important to begin the process with an accurate accounting of the finances and medical situation. 'Please keep accurate accounting records of expenditures that you make on your Dad's behalf or benefit, and those that your Dad makes. Save receipts too please. My name is on my Mom's accounts - she cannot write a check - but i have her sign them [i arranged for an updated signature card at the bank for her and myself when i need to pay out of her account for her needs]. i keep an accounting ledger, too [pencil and paper and affix the receipts to the pockets of the ledger.

The Agency On Aging in your state [in the phonebook or you can browse for their address] can guide you any State services for seniors. Sometimes they can also provide you with a list of Eldercare Attorneys, based on the situation at hand.

My aunt's home did not count as an asset. But yes, the others are absolutely correct -- ANY application for benefits will indeed be seen by many many eyes, and scrutinized.

One must ask or apply, "with clean hands". Even if that means being turned down now .... the financial situation may very well change in a year. And that's what the stocks, bonds, etc, are intended to do - provide for one's needs [so very sorry that you, your family and your Dad are in this situation].

If correction papers need to be filed - get the attorney's advice and help and get them filed. HOLD NO SECRETS from the eldercare attorney. Blessings and hugs ... and although reality is harsh, i think your Dad is exceedingly lucky to have you watching out for his interests, But it's OK to disclose everything ... The IRS already knows, believe me -- and that is one source do most State agencies have access to when the State seeks any Federal monies to offset their expenditures.

Sending hugs ~ did you get them?
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I think YOU think you did the wrong thing, never mind what I think. He's in a rented apartment while still having to maintain his former home, and now you're worrying that he's at risk of falls when showering because he isn't in a nursing home because you and he have gone for the cheaper option.

Look, I understand how it feels when one's hard-working, hard-saving, clean-leaving responsible parent seems to end up over a barrel and forced to pay high care costs; but that is what his money is for. Watch who's charging him what as closely as you like, but if there really was a clever way of economising here you could bottle and sell it.
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Lots of people who worked hard for their money do see it dwindle away in their aged years with costs for care. You did what you did, but I would advise getting it all straight through an eldercare lawyer ASAP.
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Men of a certain age [like my Dad - born in the 1920s] ... had en ethic that precluded him from asking for help or from divulging his financial situation. He was 79 and working full time, 6 days a week before cancer took him Home. YOUR tax situation may change, if you provide XX% of your dad's support - groceries, snow removal, lawn care, cooking, laundry - the whole enchilada. If you pay to have his home cleaned - there is an IRS provision for providing support for a disabled relative. Your father's condition --- is not going to improve as though he never had a stroke. [Mom has had 4 or 5 lacuner strokes - or "brain attacks". Yes, it will change - but strokes effect one's memory and you may find yourself way beyond what you realistically can provide - physically and financially. Please encourage him to be as mentally active as possible - even game shows on TV [Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud - they all are superb at shouting out answers from the sofa :) to try to beat the participants]. Word Search puzzle books, even small jigsaw puzzles are fabulous for concentration and focus. If possible, please take regular walks around the neighborhood with him for exercise and bonding time.

You didn't do anything wrong, but as the lovely caregivers above have suggested - please consult with an Eldercare Attorney - ensure that while Dad is STILL of sound mind -- that his will or trust and POA for Financial and POA for Medical are set up. In five year, his situation may change - i pray for the better - but at least you are prepared. The ElderCare Attorney can advise you -- prepare your paperwork [you may need to tell Dad that you are getting your done too, and thought he may want to ensure his documents are up to date]. An Eldercare attorney can also find ways or explain ways to safeguard his assets from needlessly being claimed by the state. He/she will indeed be working in your Dad's/your best interests. There is nothing more scary than "what about the coin collection ... the IRAs ... the titling of the bank accounts ... how do we safeguard assets from probate, or conservatorship [court-appointed guardian - very very expensive]. But don't blame yourself: you are better prepared with information now, and please follow through - everyone needs those legal documents - and his medical situation has simply brought the timeline moved up a bit for updating or getting those taken care. His medical needs will change in a few years, and those funds that your Dad has now, will indeed quickly be claimed by RXs, insurance, remodeling of the home as required, etc. Blessings and hugs ~
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You did nothing wrong as others have said. Keeping financial info private is a good idea but when applying for help full disclosure is necessary or it would be considered fraudulent. I'm just confused as to why your father pays for an apartment near you when he has a mortgage free home. Was this a necessary move due to distances and why hang on to both? I would think selling the house would be the prudent thing to do and it would give your father added monies to live on that would ease expenses. If selling is too hard to do then try renting out the house. This again gives him added income. Keeping both places is wasted money better utilized towards his care and some relief for you as well.
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No answer to your questions. I will say I sure can identify with not wanting everyone to know all about the finances. I have not applied for any help for my husband....wealthy NO, comfortable YES. I don't like giving all my personal information (account numbers, social security, etc), only to be told sorry, no help. It scares me knowing others would have all that info....for no reason.
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It sounds like you didn't short-shrift dad, if that's what your worried about. You say you didn't disclose "all" of his information. What you DID disclose, obviously was enough so that he didn't qualify for assistance.

If you'd told us that he was receiving free services from taxpayers because you weren't forthcoming, that'd be another kettle of fish.

I'll tell you right now, though, if you think you're going to hide any assets from Medicaid or any other agency in order for your dad to receive assistance, that's fraud. If you're having a conversation with someone about dad's assets, and you don't tell all, no problem, If you're filling out a form that requires your or your dad's signature at the bottom? It better darned well be truthful.

If your dad owns a home, stocks, bonds, annuities, IRAs, etc. -- owns a home without a mortgage -- and can afford to pay for an apartment in addition to holding onto his home? He doesn't qualify for a free home health aid. At least I hope not from a taxpayer standpoint.
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Reassure yourself you did nothing illegal or wrong because you decided NOT to apply for any govt. help that may or may not have been available for Dad. In the future if you need to apply for any help you will have to disclose everything. Don't bother trying to hide anything THEY will find it. Keep detailed records of everything that is spent for dad's care and any reciepted bills you have. Be very careful with helpers who come in to help. if they work for an agency then the deductions are taken care of, otherwise you or dad are the employer and responsible for any employment taxes. if they tell you they are self employed taxes are their problem but pay by check and keep copies of chesks unless your bank includes copies in your statement. As advised above consult an elder care employer and if things get too complicated for you also an accountant. you did not do anything "wrong" but may have to consider things differently in future.
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I guess I'm confused. Did you report financial information but leave some of it out? Or did you simply say, no that's okay, we'll pay for it on our own? If you did the second, then you didn't lie, you merely declined to disclose. However, I still think that it's a mistake not to take advantage of every program out there. When we had to put mom in nh for rehab last year, we needed to give them ALL of her financial information, and why not? It was pretty clear she was not going anywhere after rehab and nh needed to assure themselves that there were resources for private pay, otherwise they would have started Medicaid application immediately.
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Yes, you did an illegal act by not disclosing all financial information. They are not asking questions to be noisy, they need to allocate monies based on need. If your father can pay, then he should pay his share, but if he cannot, then help MIGHT be there. Now, you might be looking at disqualification, and possible legal action because you LIED. Not telling the truth always has consequences.
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It is best to disclose everything when applying for any kind of assistance. My mom was on Medicaid briefly when she was in acute care. They check everything! I didn't list my checking account, although mom was on my account with me, because it wasn't her money. I was single at the time and wanted her to have access to it in case something happened to me. I had to prove that it was not her money and that I was not "hiding" any of her assets in it. I am not sure, but I am sure someone here knows. It could have been an attempt to defraud the government. Better to be honest..for many reasons!
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talk to an elder law attorney and get ALL your family's paperwork in order. Why risk loosing a home
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Ya, I think you did the wrong thing. This isn't about what YOU are comfortable with, but about what is best for Dad. If you are certain that he has enough assets to provide the level of care he needs and may need in the future for the rest of his life, then putting privacy first may not be an issue. But unless that is a certainty, it is likely his finances will have to be disclosed at some point, and it might as well be now.

Don't guess about what he is qualified for, and particularly don't guess about what he might need in the future. Spend a few hundred dollars to consult an attorney who specializes in Elder Law. (The specialty is critical. Don't go to your cousin who handles divorces.) Put all of your cards on the table. Let this professional guide you about whether it is useful to apply now and/or how to prepare in case you have to apply for Medicaid down the road.

Maybe it wasn't a mistake not to report everything to the Department of Aging. I don't really know. But it would be a mistake not to have professional guidance in planning to get the most value out what your father worked so hard for.
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Your Dad worked hard and now HIS money is for his care. As suggested talk to an elder law attorney and get all the paperwork in order. You have to realize this isn't about how you feel but what is right in seeing that Dad gets all the proper care he needs.
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If you have not already seen a elder law attorney and had power of attorney, health care surrogate and will documents drawn up/reviewed, it would be good to do so ASAP. A good elder law attorney can also help you through the long list of questions about Medicaid qualification, financial disclosure and more. It is easy to go through a lot of money in a short period of time when dealing with caregiving issues. Someone who would not qualify for Medicaid today might in two years. For that reason it is important to handle the finances properly so that there is not a problem when you go to apply (particularly with regard to the look-back period).
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It doesn't sound like he's going to qualify. He has to be just about broke in order to qualify and even after that it often takes months for Medicaid approval. Definitely use his funds for HIS care.....squirrel away some for when you will be able to prove he's down to his last 2K. That amount you set aside will help provide while you're waiting for Medicaid to kick in if he lives beyond his money.
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There is no sense in applying for something that you will not be approved for, so learn their guidelines. If your assets or income is higher, by all means do not apply and retain your privacy. If you are going to apply you need to be 100% truthful and disclose all.
My parents expenses were (are) paid out of their savings - they worked hard all their lives so they would have something to fall back on when needed. The children are adults and can take care of themselves. The purpose of his assets is his care.
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