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I have never been able to sleep well because my mom always yell out at night when she needs to go to the bathroom. Sometimes she wakes me up 3-4 times at night for water, bathroom or food sometimes. Even though I feel that it is my responsibility to take care of her any time, but I am worried that I wouldn't be able to wake up each and every time when she need something.


Could anyone let me know how to solve the problem?

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www.agingcare.com/questions/mothers-emotionally-blackmail-grown-children-with-fear-164640.htm?cpage=1
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/help-a-victim-of-fogy-parents-177021.htm
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Thanks Willie. It would be great if you could direct me to one or two of the posts. If would be extremely helpful.
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Jeff, I'm sorry that others with better advice haven't responded to you, but I'll try to help you with what I am seeing in regards to you posts, though you may be offended I have no intention to put you down. Your mom is young and will possibly live another 30 years or more. For whatever reason, you have allowed yourself to become her right hand, something that keeps her dependent on you and has not allowed you to create an independent, adult life of your own, this is called co dependence. You might want to explore why you feel the need to care for a woman who should be perfectly capable of holding down a job and living a full life without you. There are several threads on this site surrounding the issues of fear, obligation and guilt FOG and narcissistic parents. You might want to start by reading there.
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Willie, she went to the doctor but we couldn't find any disease on her. I would rather think she might have depression as she doesn't seem to be happy for almost 1 year. I am suspecting that she is just trying to catch my attention at night, but you know it is hard for me to bring her to a psychiatrist. Did you have similar experience before?
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Jeff, does your mom have some kind of debilitating disease, is she bed bound or a fall risk, is she on hospice and approaching her final days?
Even if she is it's OK for you to set some boundaries with her. She isn't mentally impaired so she can think this through for herself, she has become used to you sacrificing for her and that can not continue. You don't need to be at her beck and call 24/7. Just as a little child learns self reliance and to sleep through the night so must your mom, because if you burn out where will she be?
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Hi Willie, my mon is 63. I don't think she has dementia like others who cannot recognize people or places, but her health seems to be deteriorating over the past 2-3 years. I used to live with her since I was young. There are only two of us living in the place, but I don't have the living space and money to afford a live-in caregiver to take care of her at night. I believe that she doesn't get enough exercise, which makes her health and emotional condition even worse.
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Jeff, you didn't fill in your profile so it is hard to give specific advice.
How old is your mom? why is she living with you and for how long? does she have dementia or some physical illness that makes her so dependent?
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Thank you for your feedback. I am worried since my mom has poor eyesight, I am not sure if she could grab the mug at night. I also find myself quite exhausted during the day but as you said, it is difficult to ignore her needs for bathroom. Would it be any illness or disease cause that problem? Should I bring her to a doctor?

Thanks again for your help.
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What do you hope a bed alarm would do for you? Usually they are for people that are getting up on their own but are a fall risk, if you just want to hear her better you should get a baby monitor.
I don't think it is necessary for you to give up your sleep to cater to her whims, keep doing that long enough and your health will suffer. Water can be left in an insulated mug by her bedside, and giving her snacks in the middle of the night is just reinforcing her backward sleep patterns. The need to use the bathroom is more difficult to ignore, but if she wasn't up all night she may need to go less often. I would focus on ways to get her sleeping through the night rather than worrying about whether or not you can hear her calling, if you become exhausted enough you will sleep through anything.
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