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I'm young. Youngest of all my siblings do I was told caregiving was my job. I cared for my dad through death and am six years in with my mom... and I work, and have my own family. Two weeks ago as I was keeping vigil at my mom's bedside I fell to the floor with a grand mal seizure, and have had two more. I can't drive. She's back at nursing home but she is in end stage organ failure of heart, lung, kidneys, etc. my trigger is stress. Caregivers your parents don't want you to die taking care of them even though it may seem it. Listen to your bodies.

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John's girl, I'm so sorry that you've had this serious health issue and I'm sorry that you can't be by your mom's side during her health crises. But do heed the warning. As Pam said, upward of 30% of caregivers die before those that are taking care of - and that's not just elderly spouses. It's the strain of caregiving that undermines the health of the caregiver as well as the fact that many forego their own medical checkups and don't eat well or exercise (no time). Few people can do this alone and there is little assistance in the home.

Please take care of yourself. Your mom wants you to be healthy.
Carol
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John's girl, Thirty percent of caregivers die before their patients do. You got a warning sign; heed it. I would estimate 80% of families want to care for their elderly, but only 20% have the strength to do it.
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John's girl, so sorry to read about your health issues. Oh stress can cause so many health issues, I developed cancer which had no other markers... the doctor said it was stress related... oh fun.

I really believe our elders forget we are in our own age decline, that we aren't the kids they once remembered. My parents probably thought I was still 35 instead of being 70. Huge difference on what I could or could not do. Heavens, there were days I felt like I needed my own caregiver.

Curious, why did your siblings tell you caregiving was "your job"? To me this should have been a team effort with all of them pitching in one way or another.
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I had a minor stroke two months ago still recuperating. My dr said stress related.
I'm My 92 years old mom (with dementia ) prime caregiver. She lived with me for 2 1/2 years. Now in asst living.
Nobody is equipped 24/7 to be a caregiver as I did . My family ignored me or my needs for help while she lived with me.
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The ketogenic diet was created and originally prescribed as an anti-seizure diet for epilepsy. It became less prescribed when meds were developed to do the same thing, although not as well. There’s no money for Big Pharma in dietary changes. Research is showing that the ketogenic diet is beneficial for many, if not all, sorts of brain seizure disorders. (It is also beneficial for other brain disorders, to include Alzheimer’s, brain tumors, and mood disorders. It benefits Type II diabetes, as well. It can help with Type I diabetes, but one need to be monitored by a medical practitioner.)

To stop the seizures, look up the ketogenic diet, also called “keto” diet. It’s also called the low-carb, high-fat, or LCHF diet. YouTube has a lot of information available.

Some brains do better when fed on ketones (energy produced from fats), instead of glucose (sugar).

Best of luck to you.
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I cared for my husband for the long year awaiting his liver transplant, the 4 months it took for him to "recuperate" and did it all alone. Maybe a meal came in from a sweet neighbor who knew of the dietary restrictions we have--but basically, did it all on my own.

Hubby recovers, goes back to work ( 2 week trip) and I begin to have horrible "dizzy spells" which left me literally bedbound. I would get out of bed by "falling" on the floor and crawling to where I needed to go. This lasted almost 2 weeks (no, nobody checked on ME since my hubby was the sick one).

After a barrage of tests, it was concluded that my body had simply "given up" and was forcing me to rest. Since I couldn't focus my eyes, I was laying in bed with them closed 24/7. And I did rest, I slept and slept.

After checking to make sure it wasn't anything serious (I'm not making light of something that was truly horrible to go through) I began to realize that my body will shut down when I am over-stressed. I have had this happen a couple more times. It is my body's way of saying "STOP". And now I am older enough, I can, and I do respect that.

Get checked out thoroughly. The inner stress of caregiving (which to the uninitiated, looks easy!) can kill you.

I am sorry for your mom's decline--but that is going to steadily worsen, so you need to self-protect a little.
Good luck.
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After my father passed away - whom I was very close to - I became totally responsible for looking after my mother with no opportunity to properly grieve my dad. So between the two situations my hair started to fall out and I developed a mystery rash. Months and months of tests and doctor visits came up empty so the doctors wrote it off as stress related. On my own I did a ton of research and came up with a vitamin plan - along with certain soaps and lotions and eventually I pretty much got back to normal. Yes - the body seems to be able to come up with a variety of ways to tell you it's time to slow down and take better care of yourself.
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You probably aren't keeping a healthy intake of food and fluids, and you could have an electrolyte imbalance, or dehydration. Get to a doctor ASAP to find the cause, and try to focus on you for a change. You need to be at your best before you can help anyone else. I'm telling myself this as I type. I'll pray for you about your health and the whole situation.
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John's girl Please be careful when you go to the neurologists. I had grand mall seizures for seven years and almost died at 84 pounds because of all the medicine the doctors put me on. I ended up in a wheel chair unable to articulate my speech. I was turning into a vegetable. My daughter took me out of the neurologist care and in three weeks I was able to begin to regain my health.
I am not saying to not go. All I want you to know is that seizures can be pseudo seizures or a signal something is wrong. Find out that and be careful to what they prescribe you. Don't forget you know your body.
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Dear John's Girl, Heed Lilacalani's post! Lots of studies on that! After researching the topic Tonic-Clonic seizures for my son a while ago, I learned that many people who have grand mal are deficient - really low - in magnesium, so get yourself tested for that, for blood sugar, and start taking a good multi-vitamin. It helped my son... I hope it will help you.
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