She is 87 and has a longterm care insurance policy; it will cover both facilities. She is incontinent and has had 2 uti's in the last year that make her unable to care for herself i.e. falling out of bed (never calls for help because she is unaware of it), hallucinations and delusions. She forgets to eat (or lies about doing it/lost 10lbs in last 2 months) and sleeps 15-20 hours per day. She may or may not remember to take her meds and complains we are pushing meds on her (she agreed on them except for the uti antibiotics). She cannot shower by herself nor initiate it and has taken to staying in her pjs/robe without putting on real clothes. She stopped going to the Council on Aging several days per week and church with us. She has trouble operating phones, tv remotes, Kindle or iPad anymore. She has a Bi-pap for obstructive and central sleep apnea and cannot put her mask on by herself and refuses to put it on unless it is true bedtime. She likely had strokes from prior to sleep apnea diagnosis which also contributed to the dementia. In May 2015 we built a home with her in mind because she felt it was time to sell her home and move in with us as I am her only child. We moved into our home in Nov 2015 and even though she had lived with us 10 months of 2013 and from Dec 2014 through to moving into the new house, she had a terrible time adjusting to the move and spiraled down until the dementia diagnosis in June 2016. She has recently asked to move into a facility which I am willing to go along with as she also has a good deal of narcissism which is getting worse and is miserable. I feel she just wants to get away from me and hubby because we know the real her. I have full POA which was set in 1994 long before the dementia started. She cannot manage her finances and was regularly being taken advantage of by companies she ordered from but never realized it. She has spent the years prior to living with us shopping and spending the money from selling my father's business after he died. She went through it almost and I hope she will not outlive her money. I don't think she is capable to live in assisted living without having to pay for all the extra care she would need to receive but feel that a nursing facility may be too restrictive as she is still somewhat mobile with a walker (rollator). I would love to hear from those of you in similar situations.