Destitute relative had a stroke and is in the hospital. He has no healthcare, no Medicaid, no assets, nothing. What should I do?

Hi Miss, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and if he does not have healthcare or Medicaid this has to be a nightmare for you. Maybe the hospital Social worker may offer some support of local agencies.

I hope this helps.
Lynnel

Please help me again, today the hospital in Texas is saying they are going to release my brother0in-law to a shelter, because he "doesn't need" rehab. They are driving to put him on a bus and send him to us. He can't talk, but has regained a lot of his movement.

My husband told the case manager that that would be an "unsafe" discharge as you suggested in a previous post. They said they would release him to a shelter. How can they release someone who can not speak for themselves to a shelter???

Please help! Can someone give me the words to say?

I understand you want to help, but you just might have to become a bit&%# and remind the hospital this is not your problem. They will try to talk you into taking him in. The only solution, IMO, is to tell SW to work with Canadian health care authorities. There just might be some kind of reciprocity agreement.I

My first thought was "why is this your problem?"

The hospital SW will have to handle it if no one wants to be involved. For now he is here illegally without that green card. If he has worked in the US and has had SS taken out of his pay, then he should be entitled to SS. If he is not 65, he is not entitled to Medicare even if he paid into it.

Personally, I would not take on his care because his situation is precarious. Not sure how Medicaid will look at this since he did have a green card at one point. You may be responsible for his care if you take him on. I really don't think with his problems her will be put out on the street. But, family members need to be firm in they cannot care for him. This will force the SW to find a resolution.

Some people do lead irresponsible lives & some people seem to just attract a big whallop of bad luck..

Seems BIL has lives his life his way. I'd agree to not get too involved now.

BIL will meet the people who's job it is to find services & homes for people too ill/unable to return to their homes.

If you step forward with your hand up, that could divert or stall his future & cause much trouble & stress for you & your DH.

There is no harm in keeping the same level of contact you had before his stroke. If that is calling BIL from time to time to ask how he is, do that.

Just to add insight to the comment, about my brother-in-law finances and the fact that he was traveling around and must have some money. He arrived in Texas at his brother's house with $200. We paid for his airfare to Florida and reconnected his cell phone when he was through here in October. He has a 20+ year-old vehicle, which he had left in Florida. So he has no assets, whatsoever.

Thank you!

These are all very helpful answers and suggestions. The other brother (the one in Texas) wants to send him to Colorado.

My husband and I are on the same page. I have given care for the past eight years, to my Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle and cannot take on anyone else's medical problems. I have just barely recovered. All my patients have passed on, as of 2020. Caregiving is a long and difficult journey. An epic journey........

Any other comments and suggestions are welcome!!!

It's the hospital's job to figure it out. I'd participate in the discussions as little as possible.

Your post is written in the first person; mentioning how YOU feel about your BIL and not wanting to take him in. How does your HUSBAND feel? Is he on board with taking his brother into your home? That's what worries me in this situation: that you don't want him moving in with you but that your husband will feel guilty and on the hook for his care!!! I hope that's not the case.

Make sure you talk to DH & that both of you are on the SAME PAGE about how to proceed. Otherwise, the smooth talking social workers at the hospital or in the SNF for rehab may wind up talking your DH into taking his brother home with him!!!

If you wind up faced with the worst case scenario, BIL at your door with nowhere to go, get him set up in a cheap motel like we did with my deadbeat BIL. You mention Colorado; that's where I live too; the Denver metro area. We set my BIL up on Colfax near Aurora in a motel with a kitchenette for around $500 a month which he was able to pay with his SSI/SSDI, whatever he got, I don't remember. He was close enough to walk to King Soopers for food and cigarettes, and able to cook in his kitchenette too. He made friends with the couple who ran the motel and they'd have him over for holidays (he wanted nothing to do with the family). He died last year at 70; just keeled over in the Wal Mart parking lot one day from complications due to COPD and refusing to quit smoking. But he lived life on HIS terms & actually quite liked living in that motel. He had his video games & his cigarettes, so he was content.

I hope this all works out well for you, your DH and your BIL too. Best of luck.

Speak with Social Services there today. Tell them that he is a Canadian Citizen with no current green card and with no support system here whatever. Then it is up to Social Services to kick into action. They would get guardianship of the state for a citizen without family resources or monetary resources. What they will do for a Canadian Citizen I am uncertain.
What is crucial here is that no family member now take any responsibility for anything at all; otherwise the Social Services you contact will happily dump it in YOUR hands.
I am so sorry. This has to be hard to witness; but one certain thing is that you cannot sacrifice your own life, your own mind, and all of your money and energy to this. It isn't your responsibility. Many do not HAVE family. Your brother does have family but they can do little to help him other than to call Social Services today and tell them the facts for their discharge plan. If they tell you there is no Social Services then tell them you need to speak to the nurse case manager.

They cannot simply discharge him to the streets. That would be considered an unsafe discharge as obviously doing that would likely end up killing him. They will hold him until they can find a suitable situation for him, and as B.C. said, it does not have to be you. It is not your responsibility. It is possible he may go back to Canada, but only after proper living conditions can be secured.

1. Be sure your husband is in agreement that his brother can not come to live with you, and that neither of you will take on any formal responsibility.
2. Talk to the assigned SW or discharge planner at the hospital as soon as you can. No matter what he is saying, he can NOT go to your home to recuperate and you are not going to be helping him out in any way.
3. Once he has been settled somewhere...forward his mail to him. Ask your local postmaster what you can do to get his name off of your address, as he did it without permission and has never lived with you. And never will.
It is important to be sure your husband and you are in clear agreement about taking actions to ensure he doesn't end up as your responsibility. Otherwise, the hospital staff and your brother in law will find ways to get between the two of you...staff doesn't want to get 'stuck' with him in their hospital, and it sounds like brother in law has been very capable to getting others to help him with his life.

You and your husband need to ask to speak to a social worker at the hospital your BIL is currently in. Explain his situation to them and that he does not live with the two of you and only uses your place as a mailing address. They will work out a place for him to go. What most likely will happen is he'll go to rehab for a while. Then he will be sent to a special kind of group home for indigent, homeless people with serious medical conditions and require care assistance.
You and your husband are not responsible for him in any way. You don't have to open your home to him. You don't have to do his caregiving. You don't have to take care of him financially. Please don't let any social workers try to railroad you into believing you are because they will certainly try to.
If he no longer has a valid green card he may get sent back to Canada.
Please ask to speak with a social worker at the hospital though. They will have to handle your BIL's situation. You don't have to.

He should contact an immigration attorney. He probably won't qualify for Medicaid in whatever state he's currently in since he doesn't meet any criteria (like being a refugee, etc). So, you WILL be stuck with him most likely because there is no way to PAY for his care. I'm suspecting the outcome may be he goes back to Canada where he is a citizen, but please speak with an immigration lawyer (who is bound by attorney/client privileges to protect the private information he would be sharing with him/her). Otherwise family will need to maybe "abandon" him and let the county figure out what to do with him. I'm so sorry...this is one of the ugly outcomes when people come here and stay here illegally -- it sets up future problems for them *and their families* that are very difficult to solve.

You are absolutely 100% correct, you “CAN’T care for him or live with him”, so DON’T for even one second CONSIDER ANY POSSIBILITY THAT YOU COULD.

This is NOT a concern that you OR YOUR HUSBAND should have any thought of taking on. Out of concern, if you wish to follow the course of his care, do that, from a safe distance, while saying often that you ARE NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING FOR HIM BUT EXPRESS YOUR CONCERN AND SYMPATHY.

Because of the address thing, I’d contact a lawyer for an opinion on what responsibility you may have because of it. If “other brother” is able to claim he is “unable to help”, make that your stance too.

BE FIRM. Find out where you stand legally.