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My mother stirs trouble often. For some reason, she tells me how I am disliked by various family members, tells family I won't let her in the kitchen, etc. They know she has dementia, but still get mad at me for her stories. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to them, suggested they be with mom for more than a day visit, but that never happens. I'm tired of dealing with them and think maybe I am better off not talking to them as they wish.

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Soverytired; thank you for your comments. I think you may be right about anxiety causing a lot of mom's actions. It seems strange, now that no one is talking to each other, my mother seems quite happy. Sister is sending her a new phone, sister-in-law has all kinds of activities planned for Dec. when they're going to take mom for a month. This will be out first break in 14 years, but I'm sorry for the chaos that brought it about. I will pray for you and your family.
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I have no answers for you. But I am in the same situation as you. My mom keeps telling my siblings that I have been mean to her and they believe her and not me! I asked if we could rotate holidays a little so I could go out of state to visit my daughter. (I have done every holiday for 8 years, they haven't been here for a Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, her birthday, any holiday for 8 years) Either my siblings told my mom... or my mom interpreted it...who knows at this point..that I want to get rid of her, she's a burden, I don't want to see her for holidays anymore. What? Some of the things she has said that I've said are absurd! And in the meantime, she is screaming at me "no one likes you - you need mental help"...or screaming that she's going to have a stroke right in front of me. No one in my family is speaking to me either. My therapist said tell them they have to take her for a month. They will need that much time before they realize what is happening. The hurt is huge. I used to feel hurt that they didn't help, now I long for the days when they just didn't help. I am on Day 3 of not talking to anyone and as much as it hurts, I think its better. Your mom maybe can't help her behavior. It's probably her anxiety of what she would do without you that is causing this. But your siblings are feeding that anxiety monster. And they are rewarding the behavior of her complaining about you and giving her attention for it They need to treat you with respect, they need to back you up. My daughter said, if your child was anxious about going to school, you wouldn't go off blaming the teacher and the school - that would make your child more anxious! And I think that's exactly what's happening for both of us. I am so sorry, I know how much this hurts.
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My question didn't show so here it is . . . Most recent situation, I am suffering from depression and stress. My doctor suggested my mom stay with someone else for a month or two. I asked my mom if she'd like to visit my brother and his wife for a couple of weeks and all hell broke loose. She called them crying saying I want to get rid of her, could she stay there. Somehow it was suggested by one of them that she could stay there alone which is crazy. Anyway, as always, I'm the bad guy and family says they want nothing to do with me. Maybe I am better off, but it still hurts.
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