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Husband 89 year old and does not need it yet. He's good one day, not so good the next. Assisted living is nearby. He will never willingly go. He has me.

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ah not a good idea please do not do this.The money could be better spent.Please don't let the facility pressure you or force a "sale'.All they want is your money.Save the funds until a time more appropriate to be spent on more necessary things
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I thought all advice was good. It amswered my questions for future Alzheimers'treatment and living conditions. marymember
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Assistant Living is not particularly safe. Watch the PBS archived show on it. There are usually no medical staff on site. An elderly man drank a bottle of drain cleaner while he was in assistant living.
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I am currently looking at assisted living possibilities for my Dad. Over time, and in different states, I have never had a facility ask for a non-refundable deposit. This sounds questionable. Your state aging care /protective services agency may be able to tell you if this is a legitimate request. If you have the time, visiting a number of facilities might help you get a sense of what is normal in your area.
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Er, no, it is not a good idea to put down a substantial, non-refundable deposit on a service you have no wish to use and may never need. "Sufficient unto the time is the evil thereof…" - save your money until the time comes.
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The deposit is nonrefundable because, when you reserve that bed, AL facility has a commitment to hold that bed for you and, if your husband can't be admitted for any reason, it might take some time for them to find a substitute resident for that particular bed. You need to negotiate that. You should say they have to return it if they have people waiting for that room at that moment when your circumstances had changed. Indeed, you basically sign a real-estate contract with the "Bed & Breakfast" place and it would be wise to get elderly care atty to read that paper to see what else is hidden.
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Who an AL or personal care community will accept varies greatly. So, don't assume that dementia will result in your husband being directed to a skilled nursing facility. In my area, there are many AL and PC communities that accept the same residents that, in the past, would have gone to nursing homes. There are only a few situations that would cause someone to be rejected or moved out once they were living there; things like being on a form of life support.
That said, don't put down a non-refundable deposit when your husband is resisting the move. You need to decide what's best. He no longer can. If you decide he needs more care than is healthy for you to provide, you need to take charge. Don't put down a deposit until you've reserved a move-in date.
Now, a REFUNDABLE deposit is a different story. If a community you want routinely has a long waiting list, it makes sense to get yourself in a preferred position by putting up a refundable deposit. $1500 is a usual amount. It generally gets you a sort of "right of first refusal" when an apartment comes up. Don't let a sales person scare you by showing you their long waiting list. They could have 100 people on it and, when they call them to say they have an availability, it's not uncommon to have everyone of them say "not yet."
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Absolutely not. It sounds like your hubby will probably go straight from your house to a nursing home. Use the money to pay for someone to come into your house and assist you with hubby. I had someone come to take mom for haircuts and just ride her around. They would go to supertarget or walmart and sit in the mcdonalds and people watch. On the days mom couldn't walk safely, she would come over and wheelchair mom around the neighborhood.
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Ni lo pienses muchacha. Put that $ to better use.
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I wouldn't put money down at 89. That money could be used now to get you help a few hours a week with your husband. You are very smart to have already visited some places and considered your options. This should give you peace of mind. When he needs placed, you can buy time by having physician order some in home care assistance or you hiring nursing care temporarily while you find a permanent residential situation. Of course, if you live in an area with few care options or few vacancies...you may have to reconsider if you definitely plan to move him in 30-60 days.
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Don't put any $ down -it may be lost.
Look into what else is available in your area for help & call adult protective services too.
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Definitely not. Too many do not ask for non-refundable deposits.
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No, in your case I don't think it's a good idea. Your husband is 89 and has Alzheimer's. If you put money down on an AL place you're liable to lose it because he may have to skip the AL and go right into a NH and then you're out that money. Plus, he refuses to go. I understand you probably have to put money down to hold the place and in different circumstances it would be prudent to do so but I think you'd be wasting your money.
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