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Hello,


Here is the deal: My dad has never been a very honest person, but usually he only lies to get himself out of scrapes or to embellish a story.


However, recently, he has begun to lie about really strange things. For example, he told me my sibling was not his and spread some vicious rumors about a family friend which I knew were completely false. During these lies, he gets very emotional.


I know this is a sign of dementia, however, he has only had one major spell of forgetfulness that I have been aware of. During this spell, he apologized for something that he supposedly hid from me, but the thing is- he didn't. We have had numerous conversations on the matter. Other than this one episode, I have noticed no abnormal behavior as far as speech, performing tasks, or forgetfulness in the past month. Yet this was a pretty significant lapse in memory.


I have not been around him often as we recently just moved close to him again, so I have no idea if this is a sudden onset of weird behavior or if it has been going on for awhile. Friends have suggested that it might be a UTI or something creating problems for him, but I cannot get him to go to a doctor. Do I just wait it out? Is it possible that it is dementia despite there being relatively few other symptoms?


Thanks.

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Thank you all so much. I will consider your answers thoughtfully. I really appreciate your wisdom.
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I agree about how you just never know what to expect when a senior starts with unusual behavior or comments. I know that with my LO it wasn't memory that first displayed itself as a problem. My LO had obsessions and poor judgment. She also became cross and disagreeable, much more than normal. She also made up things that I knew were not true. Later, I realized that she likely didn't know they were lies. It wasn't until much later that the memory issues became apparent.

I'd also keep in mind that there are some conditions in which memory is not the primary loss. Some diseases affect personality, mood and temperament.
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On this site I read a VERY true statement; it said: "If you've seen one case of dementia..........you've seen one case of dementia." That is SO true!! Each case is so incredibly different. Sometimes they have no short term memory whatsoever, other times they're tuned in and just fine. Sometimes they're telling wild stories and other times they're yelling & cussing. Who knows what's happening to your dear dad, really, but something's not right. My suggestion is to read up on the subject of dementia and the signs & symptoms, and keep a log of what your dad is doing & saying that may indicate the disease. Eventually, he'll have to go the doctor for SOMETHING and if you can go along with him and speak privately with the doctor, perhaps he can give him some tests. In the meantime, just keep your eyes & ears open, like DollyMe said. And, like Ahmijoy said, you may want to think about his plans for the future ie: long term care facilities.
Best of luck!
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anonymous912123 Jul 2019
I never heard that before, I am going to keep that in my memory bank, it is so true! Thank you for posting this!
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This dementia disease is very baffling. In my family diabetes runs rampart in the men, I under it, dementia I do not understand. Each case is different, each progresses at a different pace in a different way. I would wait it out, keep your eyes and ears open, the answer will surface.
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There are no “rules” for what does or does not constitute dementia. The idea of testing him for a UTI is a good one, especially if you’ve seen a rapid and sudden decline in his behavior. Explain to him that there are “new government rules” for Medicare and he has to go to his doctor in order for them not to cancel his insurance. He has lied to you, right? A dose of his own medicine so to speak. But be sure the doctor and their office is on board with what you’ve told Dad.

Since you've not been around Dad for a while, step back and evaluate the situation before you decide how to proceed with him. With dementia, conversations with the person can be confusing and nonsensical as you’re discovering. There are times he will seem perfectly fine until during the course of the conversation he will suddenly tell you people are coming through his walls. It might be a good idea to think about plans for his future.
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