She is 95, lives in her home, terribly stubborn (always) and extremely hyper and unfocused. I've asked the Dr for something to calm her down. I think if she could relax a little, life would be MUCH better for both of us.But Dr says no. I'm on anti depressant and acid control drugs from the stress, been to ER 2 times' seems fair to me she should be too. ;) I had 32 calls on my cell and another 8 on the home phone on Christmas eve. Worried about dinner on Christmas, and then the time for the church service. It's always something. If she calls a couple minutes after I talked to her, I just won't answer. But it worries me that it COULD be important. She is in great health, so she is up and fretting all day, thinks she needs to drive, or that she does drive and do all the things she used to. Nothing is ever her fault. Someone ? looses her phones, messes up the TV remote, didn't tell her something important etc. She thinks she is always out of coffee, bread, whatever! Not. Been doing her shopping for 3+ years, been there for her for 34 years since my father died, and have totally taken care of her home and finances. At this point she demands it, even though she says she never asks anyone for help. She thinks she is capable of doing everything, when she isn't capable of much. Same as so many of you, I am burned out! 14 calls from her so far today (4 PM) About Christmas - she doesn't remember dinner, giving her money gift to the family, who was there etc.
Any ideas about the hyperactivity? How to explain the her Dr that she is driving us all crazy, herself included. This has been hard on my marriage, about destroyed my business, and taken it's toll mentally and physically, on me. I am 72, that's no spring chicken!
She has a wonderful home care lady 3 days a week, she has been a total God send. Tried a day care, but she hated it. She told me that those old people repeated themselves. I had to bite my tongue and not laugh out loud! Why can she remember what they say, and not me?! Oh well, I know it is what it is. But any suggestions would be valued.
And hugs to all of you going through this.
If not more help in her home you may need to consider a move to some type of assisted living facility - we all know it's a struggle but unless you can provide care for her in your home it will be a tough road ahead
Do you or another sibling have financial and health power of attorney in place?
Her mother lived to 98, curled up in a ball in a nursing home for 9 years! I am so afraid that is going to happen to Mom. She still can shower and dress and sort of do her hair and makeup, so we don't need that help yet. But I see she messes up her meds lately. I fill her pill strip so it is always there, but she misses some, or drops them and can't see them. She isn't on any meds that are very serious.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
I wonder if your Mom would be happier living in Independent Living where you can add on optional care. She would meet new women closer to her own age thus keep busy with them, instead of constantly calling you. Plus no more buying weekly groceries as many IL facilities offer 3 meals a day.
If Mom owns her own house, she could use the equity to help pay for the IL facility. Check for a facility that also offers Assisted Living for when the time comes, that way she will still see familiar Staff faces, and have the same meals.
I did that with my Dad, he wanted out of his house, and was happy as a calm with his apartment and being around other people closer to his age.
Is there anothr adult center in your area that may have different results from the first one you tried? Can you bring in more help? The Home care aide may be sufficient for showers, etc but what about a 'companion' for the othr days? A companion won't do the showering etc, but would help keep your Mom busy and her mind off of 'problems'. The companion could play cards (sorting into suits and colors for those who can no longer play); make a light meal, take Mom for a walk (in nice weather); get the TV working and generally reduce your phone calls. It might be a stay at home Mom in the neighborhood that could work during school hours. My observation is I think you should try more help.
Does your mother go to a geriatric specialist? I am generally not in favor of medications, but know sometimes they can keep people more calm and stable.