If people have loved her dearly, they will grieve with you AND FOR HER, that this has happened, and is a part of her loss to herself and others, as the victim of a devastating and ultimately fatal disease.
For a period of time, when my grandmother accused my father, whom she had dearly loved, of poisoning her well and stealing from her, my mother and father stayed away from her a bit, but I as a teenager, was able to maintain the link between the people whom I loved most in the world. With time she forgot her accusations, and we were able to interact again, to an extent limited by her ongoing symptoms of dementia.
Dementia can have symptoms that are embarrassing and distressing, but as part of her illness, those who love her need to realize that her symptoms come from the deterioration of her brain, and her increasing inability to filter and correctly use the messages coming into her thoughts.
You are right, arguing, reasoning, discussing, none of that really helps. Distraction sometimes will.
We who post here understand how hard this is, and many of us have lived it. Please don’t blame her OR yourself, for an illness that can’t be controlled. If she were able to be who she was, she would do that for all of you who love her.
I agree with cwillie...tell her it has been taken care of But to your response... I do hope the family members that she is accusing are fully aware of her dementia. If not you should tell them and also explain what is happening just in case she says something to them or to someone else and word gets back to these family members. Also if there is a way to "mend the rift" you might want to try that as well. But not if it puts your relationship in jeopardy and she thinks you are now "in cahoots" with the "blackmailers" You have to think when dealing with some forms of Dementia that life is like a Soap Opera and you are playing a role in someone else's life.
Tell her that she doesn't have to worry because you have taken care of it, then try to change the subject and redirect. I'm sorry for the family member, hopefully this isn't someone she was formerly close to 🙁.
Thank you for your advice. This is all very new to me. Unfortunately, the people she is accusing are And have always been very close to her and love her dearly. They would be devastated if they knew . I do believe they would understand given her mental status. I hope she doesn’t ever approach them with this accusation. Thanks again. I hope it works.
For a period of time, when my grandmother accused my father, whom she had dearly loved, of poisoning her well and stealing from her, my mother and father stayed away from her a bit, but I as a teenager, was able to maintain the link between the people whom I loved most in the world. With time she forgot her accusations, and we were able to interact again, to an extent limited by her ongoing symptoms of dementia.
Dementia can have symptoms that are embarrassing and distressing, but as part of her illness, those who love her need to realize that her symptoms come from the deterioration of her brain, and her increasing inability to filter and correctly use the messages coming into her thoughts.
You are right, arguing, reasoning, discussing, none of that really helps. Distraction sometimes will.
We who post here understand how hard this is, and many of us have lived it. Please don’t blame her OR yourself, for an illness that can’t be controlled. If she were able to be who she was, she would do that for all of you who love her.
But to your response...
I do hope the family members that she is accusing are fully aware of her dementia. If not you should tell them and also explain what is happening just in case she says something to them or to someone else and word gets back to these family members.
Also if there is a way to "mend the rift" you might want to try that as well. But not if it puts your relationship in jeopardy and she thinks you are now "in cahoots" with the "blackmailers"
You have to think when dealing with some forms of Dementia that life is like a Soap Opera and you are playing a role in someone else's life.
I do believe they would understand given her mental status. I hope she doesn’t ever approach them with this accusation. Thanks again. I hope it works.