My husband, stepson and I cared for his mother for over 5 years, including moving her into a safe apartment, grocery shopping, food prep, doctor visits, etc without any help from his siblings in that time. We had cleaning crews come in once a month and arranged a standing appointment for her hair every month. During this time, as an appreciation, she would offer to take us to dinner, allow her son to use her card she held for a small gift now and then, pay for gas we used to take care of her.
As her dementia worsened, we tried talking to one of his siblings about her driving (which she blew off), her reluctance to go to dr visits and an issue with her buying things impromptu and not remembering. She was even buying movies from Comcast and skyrocketing her cable bill to hundreds of dollars. Finally, his sibling agreed to take her back to where she lives out of state. We told them everything we tried but again, no concern.
His mother has lived with her just a week and called us accusing us of credit card charges that she completely authorized! She even accused my stepson of buying those movies and he never even lived there! His mother completely forgot, which we expected, but his sibling believes her and doesn’t believe she forgets or has dementia. She was absolutely lethal to my husband, saying we took terrible care of her, and that we stole her money. My mother in law would never give anyone POA, and doesn’t believe she has dementia. But that was the whole reason we sent her off; to make sure she had better care than anyone here could provide her.
We did contact an attorney, but I guess we are wondering if we can be sued for something she clearly forgot? She won’t admit she forgot, because that admits she has dementia. And can his sibling sue us?
Super stressed and my poor husband is just devastated by his sister.
Glad u saw a lawyer. Put ur mind at rest.
Please encourage your loved ones to do a POA as soon as you can. She would not agree to it and it caused so much anxiety and messes with the choices she was making.
A week is not enough time for sister to find out things. Does MIL sundown? Let her scream and holler. She will find out hopefully sooner than later. Let your Husband deal with his sister.
She was diagnosed with early stage dementia a few years ago but until recently, she was remembering everything. Recently we saw she was really getting bad and he wouldn’t take it from her. Instead we tried to get his family involved bc we were worried of her making financial decisions. Her generosity was no longer made with the sound mind. She refused to go back to the dr to be re-evaluated.
Unless an attorney is really desperate, or not very competent, she'd have a hard time convincing anyone to spend time on this situation.
Thanks. My husband is just completely feeling defeated and that his sister is manipulating his mother.
If MIL still has access to her credit card, give it a few more weeks. SIL has a lot to learn.
I have to admit, I lost a lot of my Christianity today when she was screaming at us. She didn’t take a breath or take a second to listen, Before or now.
Once Sis gets the full experience of living with Mom and her issues, she'll figure things out. Just wait her out.
I'm sorry for your husband having to take this. I assume you warned Sis of what Mom does?
When we told her many many times, and even tried to talk to her husband when they were here because she would t listen and we didn’t want any surprises. Then his sister got mad we did that!
I think we are dealing with both despair of being accused and fear that his sister may take legal action for her because she doesn’t believe her mother has memory issues. 😢