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Sit down with your siblings (not by phone if you can help it) and give your side of the story. Also, make sure your siblings understand her disease and the behaviors associated with the disease including hallucinations, paranoia, misunderstanding, etc.

Mom can get very confused between the real and unreal. They can get confused with what they hear on TV, from another resident, etc. and get that confused with what is going on with their children, neighbors, etc.

My mom does this. She has accused my brother (retired and living across the country) of being a "convicted felon" who stole $10K in dollar bills from her safety deposit back. She swore he was seen in her garage, at the bank, etc. -- all impossible but she is fixated on this even after 2 yrs. He told her he bought a car and in her mind, he couldn't afford one (he's actually retired and well off). She has accused elderly neighbors of "terrorist activity" against her and driving their car into her front yard tree (a branch long having fallen off and leaving an age old scar on the tree) that she just discovered...me, her only daughter and the only one with contact with her, well, i've stolen from her, my husband has abused her, etc., etc.

I used to get very angry; and now I just document for my own protection when she makes such accusations and I make sure I have regular communication with my sibling. I also have done alot of reading and educating myself and hear same from others so I don't feel alone in those.

If your sibs believe her over you, then there isn't any trust and not much you can do about that but let it go.

When your mom is "most coherent" you can tell her calmly, that these comments hurt you and you want her to stop. You can tell her if she keeps saying these hurtful things or spread untruths to your sibs that your sibs will stop you from seeing her anymore "is that what you want, mom?"....maybe it will stop. It slowed my mom down some; but I choose to ignore and not punish her for it because its the dementia disease not really mom.



No one believes her at this point; but it still hurts and she repeats to relatives, etc.

Have you asked your sibs if they believe her? Have you asked them for proof?
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