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Mother, is 85 with heart failure and last stage of dementia. For last two weeks she constantly complains that she needs to go. She is bed bound. We give her stool softners and it is soft. We had hospice do enema a week ago, and same thing this week. She moaned and groaned and loudly prayed all night and most of one day, nurse came and did another one....and that was only a day and a half ago.Today and last night same thing.....how do others manage this problem....is she really hurting that bad, or just thinks she has to go and don't know how now....we are very confused. This is a distasteful subject, but one that has to be dealt with.

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She might have a serious problem such as a growing tumor that is making her feel pressure. My mother was found to have a bowel hernia. Forget what hospice wants. You are in charge and not them. They seem to have the attitude in your mom's case that she should not be kept comfortable. That is not right! Follow your instincts and take her to the ER.
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Shario, what you said is so right, they don't want us to take our loved ones to the ER at all "COST." You're wise to see Hospice's bottom line, beyond all the touchy feely stuff, and that's economics. You are wise making your decisions based on the best for Mom, not what's best for their ledger sheet.

Blessings and hugs :)
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Sharjo, my MIL's current state sounds similar to your mom's. The nurses have manually "depacted" her bowel movements that are too large and hard to pass and are causing her discomfort. Take care, these are difficult times. We are supposed to meet with the hospice people in two weeks. Today she didn't look as though she would make that long.
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Thank you for the reply. She has been treated for UTI recently and on a maintance drug for that. Have no idea about blockage, as you may have experienced with hospice, they do not want us to take to E R at all cost.. we have been waiting five hours for them to come check her today.....only two on duty, because of weekend.....they advised give milk of mag. She is not on pain med. will try the yogurt. She is still taking strained foods pretty well.
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Has she been checked for uti or blockages? Also is she on any opiates for pain management?These tend to harden the stool and constipate.

Also, just an idea, Activia yogurt, because of the probiotic content, can sometimes help soothe the stomach in some individuals having this feeling too (this is what our Gastroenterologist had suggested at one point).

There's such a wide parameter of issues she may be experiencing, but I'm not sure if you're still seeking medical treatment, or if she's strictly palliative at this point?

((((Hugs)))) I pray for your mother's comfort.
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