My father, who has dimentia, was living with me for the last 2 years and my health took a nose dive. With the help of my two older siblings, we were able to get him into a very nice independent living facility so we can both get better care. He has been there 3 months and our youngest sister has been trying to squat there in secret. She just got evicted from her residence as of noon on Tuesday and the property is now bank owned.
I have had POA for the last 4 years and have not had to use it up to this point. Management at the facility called me and we had a long four hour meeting about what is and is not acceptable for guests and visitors. My sister tried every manipulative tactic she has learned on the streets and my dad doesn't think allowing her to live with him in a studio apartment, rent free at a retirement community is wrong! By the end of the meeting, my sister understood very clearly what the rules were, but was clearly not happy about them and was not happy about being confronted regarding her wrong doings.
After a huge upseting, emotional day my dad thinks everyone, including the staff at the facility he lives at, is out to get our sister (who, in his opinion, has done nothing wrong). When he moved in, he loved the place and couldn't believe he'd be able to live in such a nice facility. Now he wants to bolt, like a five year old with a knap sack on his shoulder, and move out. He is angry with all of us and I'm worried he might act in haste.
How do I know when it is time to move him to a higher level assisted living/ memory care/ alzheimers facility? How do I do that if he doesn't want to go? How do I utilize the power of attorney that I have so that he is not a threat to himself because of paranoia? How do I show him that we will not keep his youngest daughter away from him?
I've assured dad that youngest sister is not banned from the facility and she won't be as long as she follows the rules. He doesn't believe me and the emotions that are tied in with this whole situation are wringing me dry. I have my older sister's support and she is listed secondary on the POA, I just don't know how to protect my dad from my sister and I don't know how to protect him from himself.
Please help, my anxiety is through the roof and my guilt is sky rocketing. I sure am grateful for this online forum and appreciate any and all comments.