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MY dad has dementia is crazy mad at me thinks I've stolen his money and the bank can't get him to see that nothing has changed except the Trust is set up under my name but it's still his money. He is livid calling me leaving nasty insulting messages threatening to sue me, have me thrown in jail. I have 20 nasty grams on my voice mail, insane talk from my father. The bank has all the paperwork for DPO AND TRUST, Can he undo all the hard work I've done to get them into a better financial position by undoing the DPO which relates to the Trust. I had to block my own parents from contacting me my dad's insults and accusations were horrible. His neighbors tell me their on my side and " dear Lord child how did you ever survive being raised by that man! Any thoughts my attorney is not available at the moment. This is in Virginia

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Well, good for you, Zoolife. It sounds like you have made some very painful but healthy decisions. Detach, with or without love, and focus on your own well-being. You have done your best. Now be done.

Is it practical for you to get a new phone number? Can you completely block your father's number from your phone? You really need to protect yourself from this narcissist.
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Jennegibbs, thanks, yes this is my dad's personality, I've come to believe with all the research and talking with different therapist my dad has every indication of being a narcissist. His sisters validate his rage, self centered behavior, his neighbors ask me has he always had this kind of difficulty getting along with people.

The attorney had my folks doctors fill out forms that she the attorney sent them asking specific questions which would allow her to get them to durable power without guardian. My dad's doctor at the Veteran Admin. said he's incapable of handling both personal and financial decisions. However I just found the document that states if he is of sound mind he can revoke. He's not of sound mind but my dad is what the doctor calls high functioning. He is quite the showman and the branch manager of his bank seems to thing he's component. She doesn't want to have a law suit that's all she is protecting the bank, so is the branch manager in my area I set the Trust up with. Now all that work all the hatred my dad voiced to me was more than just dementia it is who he really is, unfortunately! My dad is such a hot head today I was to conference him in with the insurance company to get them better health care but he was to full of ego to listen. I'm leaving them alone to try and get my life back I have medical issues of my own with no medical insurance at all, the cost of my medicine is outrageous. I'm not eating as well as I did when I had work. I'm not putting them first any longer when I did I lost everything. Then my own sick father calls me leaving messages saying is this the lairs' house, and he told me he would do whatever it took to get his money back the way it was it never went anywhere. I wrote John McCain and got my dad his hearing aids 7 years ago, I got my dad 1120.00 extra a month coming in due to his hearing loss, and he doesn't trust me! I'm very hurt and no longer which to be related to either of them, their toxicity has damaged me long enough, no one that knows them blames me!
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If you father is not legally competent at this time (It sure sounds like he is not, but no one has given me the power to say that), then he cannot make the changes you ask about. If he is "still in his right mind" from a legal viewpoint, then he probably can ... but let's hope someone somehow is able to get him to see what is in his own best interests.

What does his doctor say about his level of cognitive functioning?

Throughout this whole ordeal, please, please try not to take this personally and do realize this isn't your real dad talking. Whatever the legal opinion may be, he certainly is not in his right mind regarding his view of you at this time. (Or, if this is what he had been like all along, then at least don't feel any guilt at his ridiculous accusations. It is his problem, not yours.)

Be proud of all your hard work in setting things up for your parents' benefit. Even if he succeeds in tearing it down, you have done your best in a very challenging situation. No one can ask more than our best.
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