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Our dad with moderate (and if this is moderate, we're in for a rocky road!) dementia greatly resents his loss of control of driving, finances, etc. Although he loves our mom, he HATES her right now, too! He has made it very clear her doesn't want to live with her anymore and has even become more aggressive towards her (hitting, kicking, ...) We need to transition him into a board and care but he absolutely REFUSES to leave his house! Any suggestions?

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I don't know much about board and care, but could they even handle your father? If he gets physical, I would expect them to kick him out.

My guess is that your father needs to be on antipsychotic or other medication to handle his emotions, at least for a while. I know of many people who were impossible to handle, but on the right medication, they became reasonable and even happier with their life.

If worse comes to worst, you could call the cops on him to get him hospitalized for a psych evaluation. That would obviously be a last resort if needed to keep him from injuring someone.

This is a horrible situation for all of you, but especially for you.
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well there is another old simpsons line that i treasure. your dad seems to have gone mad with no power.
im not making fun. its just if you dont find something to laugh a, life will chew you up and spit you out..
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dad sounds too crazy for boys town and too much of a boy for crazy town. i dont have any advice, thats just a line from an old simpsons episode that i love to use occasionally.
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He DOES still recognize her! We've separated them for the past four days, but neither of them is willing to give up living at their current house. Dad would need a full time care giver and the cost of that AND an assisted living residence for mom would be extremely unreasonable!
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Your poor mother. Does he even know who she is, does he think she's a stranger? If he knows her and is still acting like this, I say put either her or him out of each others reach. Maybe she'd be more happy with asst. living or retirement living?
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